A letter from Jan 23, 2024

Dear FutureMe, I want you to know that your depression will come back. You will have waves of sadness that feel endless, kinda like the one I will likely have in the coming days. These waves might feel hopelessly endless, but know that they aren’t. The universe always balances itself out. Being careful not to give us too much good or too much bad. I hope when you read this you are in a good mental state, but even if you’re not I’ll just be glad that you’re here. You’ll be a senior in college. Know that you’ll miss me and I’ll be proud of the woman you’re blossoming into. I hope you are a better person than I am and I hope you’ve realized that you are the sun. It doesn’t matter if you never receive male validation that affirms this. Hopefully you’ll be stronger than I am and not continue to dwell on the idea that a great epic love will fix everything, or any kind of romantic love for that matter. I haven’t been loved in that way yet at 19. It sucks. But I hope you realize life is bigger than that at 21. I hope you begin to feel beautiful and believe that you deserve to take up space wherever you find yourself. I hope you’re working on the book about the old man in that small town, halfway across the world. I hope you’re happy. Right now I’m not but I will be. Soon you and I will be writing another letter to her.