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Dear FutureMe, i want so badly to love him i want to love him and marry him but i can't because he is not a christian i had never realized until now how restrictive that sounds i'm never really free to love who i want the world is not mine despite the fact that the last christian boy i was with got us naked in bed and did some unspeakable things despite the fact that the one before that who sings & plays in church and is a youth music pastor would lose all self control alot of nights & our bodie would get crazy and he would make me feel like crap despite the fact that these christian boys were sometimes real assholes--reckless with my feelings & heart (don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.) now i have found a georgeous boy who treats me beautifully, who looks at me as though he's never seen a girl before and i'm the most amazing discovery, who holds me (and loves to hold me) but doesn't lose self control, who respects & loves his family, who doesn't complain, who doesn't lose patience, who loves me. but he doesn't believe in God. --the one maker/breaker as far as my family/friends are concerned. the ONE THING i've been taught since i was a little girl that is THE deal-breaker. it's devastating i'm in love and it just can't happen but i'm in love! I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE (and i should worry later [but i can't stop worrying now])