A letter from Jan 08, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Sixteen years old. Wow, that's really weird. ***** bad right now, how are you? Hopefully good...I don't know how much longer I can do this. I mean, will I be here long enough to even read this? I don't know. You can get a motorcycle now, that's fun. Maybe you have a boyfriend? I like a boy right now. Actually, I love him. His name is Eli, I don't know why I love him, I just do. He has a girlfriend, I've been told they broke up but I still feel bad for liking him. I tried liking someone else, I gave up pretty quickly. I don't know what to do, Eli has been stuck in my head since I dated Aiden. ****, he was so attractive. The more I see him, the more I fall for him. I keep finding others to like, to get over him. It's not working. Why? Why him of all people, why not someone who I have a chance with? It hurts, seeing him. He looks at me a lot, we make eye contact all the time...he's talked to me before. It's weird though, I don't know how to talk to people. And, it hurts. Seeing him, knowing I'll never speak with him. Wanna know something funny? Right before I wrote this, I told myself I wouldn't write about him. Do you still know him? Are you guys friends...? If not, that's fine. He seems amazing though. Maybe find him, ask for his snap or number. That seems fun. I cried writing this. I don't even know why. Maybe I finally admitted that, I do wanna end it. Really bad, but...I can't. I'm too afraid.