A letter from Jan 02, 2024

hey girl (or boy, since i'm writing this when i realized i'm trans), how's it hanging? things are a little tough, but i'm hanging on. i really hope to get strong at the gym and get better at art. it's looking a bit bleak, though. i am trying, i really am. does it get better? you'd be able to tell me, and i wish you could now. it's near time that i get done with my first semester of sophomore year. it's not too hard, it's just the burnout. my grades are okay, i think. i wish i had more friends. will you find someone? will i find someone? can i trust again? i don't know, only you will. i hope you know that i wonder what will become of me and how you are now. will we get accepted? will we stop getting deadnamed? can i not lose all of my friends every year? it's tiring. i just want a little relief. and maybe mao mao heroes of pure heart season two. that's probably wishful thinking. thanks david zaslav. i'm kinda scared of the future, though. it hurts my heart to think that something may happen in years come. it's.. hard. i wish i could hug someone. it hurts, and i don't wanna be this way. i'll be 15 in less than a week now, and i'll be trying to get a job and drivers' license. i wish i had more reign over my own life. it makes me sad. i hope i can be a boy and i hope i can love myself. please don't be hard on yourself, for me.