Depression...

Dear FutureMe, Well thats funny. You go along living life as best you can, strugling to just get by. You finally think your life is gonna be alright, Then all the sudden it flashes back. Chris, it June 23, 2006 3:00 Am.. you are laying on the bed/couch in Ryan Maddox's living room in Lenexa. You just found this website recently and sent youself one post. Well, you have been reading a few peoples messages to themselves as well as looking through postsecrets. It funny how your depression can just come back in a wave and smack you in the face. For real, if it were't for mygreat love for my father and my sister, I wouldnt be alive here today. It would be soo hard for them if I were gone and that is the only thing that keeps here on this earth on days like this. Is sad, i tear up for no reason. This is probably just the begining of another major depression cycle. I think I have a problem. A Serious problem. I hope things are going a lot better now for you, I hope you are headed somewhere with school or a job or SOMETHING. I often ask myself what the point of living is. I look forward to the day I die. I will be released from this physical world and will be able to allow my spirit and mind to prosper! Well I hope you are doing okay Chirs, because there are things and people I love so much in life. Call your dad and your sister. Tell them you love them, I dont care how much you think it sounds mushy, just call them adn tell them. You dont do it enough. Stop crying. How is grandma? She was in the hospital recently because of another heart attack.. I hope you get to see her at least one more time before she leaves! I hope money is going okay for you. You have to learn to not spend everything! Save and you will one day be able to live a life close to your dreams! Be a happy person chris, because I know you can! Enjoy the good moments in life, take care of your friends and stay close with your family because its all you have!