A letter from Nov 26, 2023

Dear FutureMe, so my friends with Carla barely talk with Hamza yeah try to **** myself ninth grade September 15 it’s getting better but it’s taking time yeah anyways started smoking tried alcohol got high in ninth grade was fun I don’t know I really don’t but ninth grade was fun I don’t know I really said things in my other note so not much to say yeah I will be 18 I hope what I do want for a car is a light pink Mustang or light pink Dodge or just a Mustang or a Dodge they are cute yeah I don’t know my car 11th grade I think I hope so hopefully I got a man because Josh did break my heart LMAO 😢 yeah anyways I hope you stop going for the bare minimum and get some self-respect and do better be better learn better stay in school but I do want to go to New York most definitely and I probably want to move to New York or DC or North Carolina I really do want to go to New York though I’m really gonna stay at home body but I am trying to push myself to go out more with my friends if my mom let me Yep I’m only 14 right now not much to really do and I’m really bored some days but like it is what it is I barely don’t I don’t even got a best friend besides montana ❤️🦢 but like I don’t know but I love her so so so much but like I just don’t know I don’t know what I wanna do I don’t know what I wanna do in life I don’t know I just don’t know. I don’t know if I like do what I want or just do what people tell me I don’t know like it’s so ******* hard and it’s annoying like I feel like I could do what I want but I can’t me and Hamza I don’t know we just flirted it and then it just got weird me and Carla she tried to leave me for a guy she only dated for five days called me about to cry she thinks that he was gonna break up with her anyways but when day was dating was she was my best friend but I was hanging out with other people because she went hang out with me so no, no I’m not in the wrong she got mad at me telling me to **** myself and all that but the fact that I try to **** myself I don’t know maybe I am ****** up mentally knows I wasn’t going to make it to 18 anyway what if I don’t tho but like it all really like the 2nd of my being sad is because Carla she when I helped her with Boston I was there but like when I didn’t know what to do with Josh she just hung up in my face and said she was going to sleep but like when Boston broke up with her was like 2 o’clock and I stayed up with her and she couldn’t return me to simple favor that the fact that I done something for her and she wouldn’t do it that’s so foul play and then why me and her’s best friend she got another one and stop talking to me knowing **** well I was going through something I’m not gonna blame her at all but like please be the only one that gives me a break at least give at least give me something it doesn’t even matter back I always defended her but once it comes to me she wanted to be quiet but maybe that friendship ****** me up too I’m already ****** up enough and hold onto the list I don’t know I maybe do need help but like anyways Ima stop ranting to myself I know I said ninth grade was fine but like I lied it’s so ******* tiring and once I get out of that **** school I’m going to be happy I do not want to go to liberty at all like it’s so dude it don’t make no sense I am so tired of that it’s barely my first year there and I don’t like it I don’t like the people I don’t like the way it looks I don’t like to smell I don’t like nothing I don’t like how well won’t go there like don’t like it I don’t like I just genuinely do not like it and like if I can get out now I would I would no problem, I just wish to be normal I don’t know what’s wrong with me. this note is weird bye