A letter from Nov 25, 2023

hey girlypop, its a very weird time for you at this very moment. you are just starting to discover yourself, not too sure what is and is not for me quite yet. I know I enjoy drawing. I really like smoking it sorta gives me the resets I need throughout the day. I like rollerblading and the rush i get from it. Music has been a huge hyperfixation of ours for a while and has recently had a huge spike, so I don’t believe its going away anytime soon. Some new artists I’ve recently gotten very into are The Devilish Trio, Evanescence, Bullet For My Valentine, Avenged Sevenfold and Seether. Really hoping to explore more rock music and just more music overall. Ive been looking to start taking shrooms as antidepressants. I took them on halloween and it gave me the viewing i needed to get my **** together and start living for me. Everything was so beautiful that night. I felt on top of the world as if i could have taken anything by the throat and exceeded at it. The lights in my room made everything all the more better and made it feel as if i were in another dimension yet still in the garage all in one. I also was on shrooms in essex but that part is very faint to me. I feel like life is going good for what i got. Liv is no longer part of my life anymore but im starting to see it as a positive thing rather than something to tear me down. You live you learn and that relationship taught me a whole lot. About self control, self love, self respect. I forgot how to be a person for a moment but i am starting to regain myself and see myself as enough. I hope you are too. you deserve love and good things ayden truly. You’re probably reading this thinking it sounds corny but really think about what im saying and look at your life. Is it in your hands or is it controlling you? if its controlling you tale that **** back youre better than that ayden and you know it if you put in the effort you could make it happen. you are currently jobless and not in school but you are not falling behind, you are just starting to discover yourself and your potential. Are you still thinking about psychology? Have you gotten a part time job yet? Is Becoming an ECE still an option? Do you still feel an attachment to joe? If so have you made any contact? Dont let him use you, you know what you want and what you deserve so stand on it. If not joe and someone else are they up to your standards? Like genuinely? Ayden please be careful your emotions can make you blind to the truth and you don’t deserve to go through that hurt and uncertainty again. Take things slow. No need to rush. Rushing never leads to anything good. Take care my love and please don’t do stupid things, i want you to succeed.