A letter from November 17th, 2023

Hi, I love you I feel like I need to write this for my mental health so here we go. I've always been told that I'm selfish and toxic by my own family and I always laugh about it and make jokes to not show how much it really hurts me to think that my own family says this. I realised that I was not raised by my parents but my nanny and know mom wants barge in and raise me and my brother and to teach us responsibility. I need a break I feel like I'm drowning and that my life is slowly getting out of control. I did not want to move here and now she wants me to move back it's not like I love living here in F but I want to control my life, I kept crying telling her I did not want to and leave my friends again she said your lucky you can even study in multiple high schools abroad other people would **** to be in your place, and why are you even crying your tears will not change anything. she was wrong I didn't want to leave the friends that became my family. now that I got used to living here she wants me to move back not caring what I felt and I can't even tell her the reason it feels like every time I try to talk she shuts me up all she cares about are what my siblings feel. I just want to control my life.