A letter from Nov 15, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I am very stressed. I spent the whole day on my FLVS Holocaust course, learning about the atrocities particularly with the lesson on the different types of camps. @ work Asma was present, and did a great job learning! She loved the book I picked out for us, The Apple Tree, we forgot to pick one last tutoring session with the stressors of finishing writing. Something I learned about myself was the harm the defiancy does for me. I can only do great work if I genuinely want to do it and have very little self control. I feel my actions are all or nothing and balance is impossible for me. Like right now these words are flowing through my mind and its not taking any work for me to compose this, its natural. One thought of "hey, I don't want to do that" and I can't do the task. Man that makes my life super hard. Work was good, I substituted for an advanced reader - Level O. They were reading a 2 day book and I had my co-worker brief me - all of my students are reading on levels pre-A or B. I am so an ELL tutor and I think I do it well! I have great connections with children and love learning and they teach me Farsi! I know so much more! On the rainy drive home in my pink car I was thinking about my day and realized that I spoke three languages today!! I spoke Hebrew to Ben Ebner-Winkler, he went up to me after Chorale telling me about the rumors about him being antisemitic. I was a bit cold to him, asking why he was telling me. He wondered if it was anyone within JSU. I confided that I was disappointed in how our relationship excelled, as us being one of the only adamant Hebrew speakers in the whole school, as well as a great example of American and Israeli Jewry. Lehitraot Ben, I said running to work. School ends 3:25 and work starts at 4:00 but I really need to be there at 3:40 for planning! #LucySpeaksFarsi!!!! Some of the other kids in the program have been teaching me Farsi as well, and they make the mistake of thinking I understand the language. Mustafa has a sad story, one of immigration to the United States and a year of not speaking the language and not hearing. "He got a hearing aid over the summer", the front desk clerk tells me. Poor kid, my mom later sympasizes. Goodbye future me, until next Monday. -Lucy