A letter from Nov 05, 2023

Mark, I sat near to your coffin all night, I was afraid, the thought of you dying in the cold floor all alone that day rings in my head. When I saw you that morning, my breath run away in my lungs, I can't believe my eyes, my mind lost for a moment and find myself unfounded. I am in deanial, not until i saw you lying in the coffin. I can't accept it, that very situation you are in, all your memories flashed in my head, our childhood, your laughters and your life. I am wronged, I should've checked you the moment I realized I didn't seen you much than before because it didn't occurs to me that I no longer have another day for it. I heard all the pathetic words that comforts their sadness towards your *****, everyone was embraced by your disappearance and each day passes it widens the gap of your absence. Lola cried so hard that her eyes is like a balloon while Lolo crying alone and silenly gazing in your coffin. Tito was very emotionless it is as if the time had stopped for him but every time he passes on to your coffin I can see the thousand of emotions he hides inside. Mama is such a light crier, the moment I told her your ***** she run blindly all the way your house together with Ate Lizel, I didn't get to see their faces because I was afraid that day. She cried when she passes your coffin and said she can't accept your *****. Jun and Jovel was in denial, they can't believe it, Fai is still too young to understand things, she just stare at us while grieving but she didn't left the chair near your coffin until she fall asleep in first day. As for Ate Ayessa and Ate Arianne, I didn't get their reactions but I know, they were melting in sadness but still staying strong. I heard Keisha cried so hard when she knows and keep telling to Fai that she can't accept it. Oh, your classmates visits you in the first day and your friends and teachers in the last day. Your brother also visited, he cried a lot silently but can't contain his emotion in last moments. I'm so sorry if we are never been good enough for you so God had to withdraw you from us. I'm really sorry, I'm so regretful but it won't change anything right?. Forgive us, for all the things we had caused you, fear not for we won't ever forget you. I hope you're happy wherever you are now, no more pain and sadness. You will be remembered, thank you for lending your warmth to us for a short while. You had a short yet eventful journey in wake and now, slumber had taken you for a rest. Sorry for our lackings that caused you pain and sadness in your life but I wish, the happy memories you had with us will be your guiding light to your next journey. Goodbye, may you rest in peace in the arms of our God and reap an eternal happiness wherever you are. Sincerely Regretful, Your cousin.