A letter from Oct 23, 2023

Dear FutureMe, heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i wish i could type the smirking emoji here :smirk: 😏 i saw this website on tik tok and it's something that i used to always do but this time its a frickin email? no frickin way. right now I'm at work wasting time until I go home at 5 and I think i'm gonna go get pho. I have yoga from 5:30-6:30 today and i'm literally so excited. it's Monday Oct 23rd and i'm celebrating halloween this friday, Benjie is gonna meet all my friends for the first time and we're gonna go out together for the first time. I'm a monkey and he's a banana. Still not his girlfriend btw💯 honestly though I get it. Even though we act like we're dating, i'm not ready yet. this summer was so ******* fun, even though I was sad when I was alone and sometimes when I went out, and I missed him the whole time, it was so much fun and I don't want to never be able to do it again in my life. I'll do it again. Probably. But also I got so sick of it after a while. They're just good memories and good photos, that's not how I wanna live forever I wonder if him and I are together when you'll be getting this. I honestly do partly think we're gonna get married. I can picture it. Maybe not. Sometimes I notice things that I don't totally like, but they usually go away. He just went through this intense christian phase because of Nate but then we did shrooms for his first time and he kind of denounced it LOL. I love him. We annoy eachother sometimes and we have intense debates LOLL and sometimes we get mad at eachother. But in a way I kind of like it. We're close. and even though he's sucked in the past, it seems like he actually changes and learns. It's nice to see that in someone. His mom apparently talks about us getting married. She said to me one day that if we're really meant to be we should get married soon. I said WHAT. not actually I said that in my mind. What I actually said was "heeeeeeeeeeeeeehehe yea but weddings are super expensive and we're still young.." heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehehehe inside tho when she said that i was like ommmmmmmmgggggggggggggggggg no wayyyyyyyyyyy you just said that delia apparently shes already said things like that to benjie. she said that when we get married we shouldn't even have a wedding and we should just get married in a courthouse and then go on a honeymoon. I appreciate the planning delia but I personally want a wedding. It doesn't have to be big.. I just like weddings. They do seem extremely stressful though. Maybe not. Idk. We'll see. I wonder if I'll ever be ready. If he proposed now my life would be in ******* shambles. Actually not really cuz i'd just say no not yet but if I was getting married now i'd be in shambles I hope you're doing well and making more money than me and hotter than me and you're probably like so flexible and **** and ur hair is probably like so long. Yesss slayy I hope you're not like disabled or something that's really crazy to think that that could happen at any time and that this could just be tragic and making you cry.. I'm so sorry.. Everything will be okay I'm actually scared now I really scared myself by typing that Ok I love you and I hope you're doing amazing. I love you so much omg you're 24 you're so old and mature and **** and I love you and I wish I could meet you right now and give you a hug and look at you I bet you're so cool. I'm emotional now Just recently I got my ps2 and xbox 360 out and it's been so nice. I saw a save file of barnyard or a dogs life and it was from like 2009 and I started crying so hard. I miss those times. I wish I could go back. It's so weird to think that I just keep getting further and further away from it and there is nothing I can do to change that. You're gonna be even further from it than I am now. But eventually it will all loop around I think. and I should enjoy my time now because I know one day I'll be romanticizing it. I don't want this to be my prime I want to be **** forever. I'm a **** young girl who works at the courthouse and has a nice life and a nice car and good friends. I know my life will still be cool when i'm 24 and I'll be ****. I love you. Bye I love you. I love 2023 and I love being 21 too. Omg I don't wanna say bye I love you so much I hope you have the best day ever please remember that I love you and I think you're the coolest most well rounded person ever and I hope you got your antiques and 70s themed room and you're not close to being a mother but you're closer than I am and you're gonna be so great Love you bye I LOVE MY MAMA TOO I LOVE MY SWEET MAMA