A letter from Oct 16, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I am feeling stuck. I see my whole future ahead of me: where do I go to college? Who did I decide to keep around? I am reevaluating all of my relationships in hopes of understanding which ones are the most beneficial. Alli and Sam have surprisingly helped me to stay grounded. I also don’t care that I got diagnosed bipolar, because I know in my heart that a lot of what people have a problem with is just the part of me that is autistic. And that sucks to come to terms with, but it doesn’t mean anything bad for me. In fact, I am more okay with myself now than ever before. I don’t like when people are condescending. I just met with Mike, who suggested sober living for me, and for the one of the first times, I didn’t feel like a professional was talking down to me. Rather, he met me where I was at. I also know who stole my vape and I’m kinda pissed about the vape. Whatever though—I needed to stop vaping regardless. I also have to admit this somewhere… I have feelings for Ruthie. Her energy just vibes with mine well and I recognize that. I’m thinking I need to revisit Alduous Huxley and the Brave New World, as well as The Stranger and The Metamorphosis. Sometimes I just feel like my life since COVID has made no sense. Things happen that I can’t explain and it’s frustrating. I’m trying to practice acceptance and though it doesn’t come easy, I’m putting my best foot forward. I hope this reaches you when you need it most (or when u want it ;))