A letter from Oct 13, 2023

Dear Samuel in 3 Years, You're a junior or a senior now, I'm not going to ******* count. You know who I am. You know where I'm at right now. I wish you could talk to me. Be my big brother and give myself some advice. The big question right now is Audra. I am on some dating apps now and some things are promising, but she still has her effect. I wonder what it will be like in 3 years. Will we still be friends? I so wish you could talk to me. Tell me it is going to be all right. I wonder how Kick It will go. If it will ever be made. So much is up in the air right now and I have never felt more lost than right now. I wrote you this email so I could outline this idea for a screenplay about the emotions I am going through right now. If I write it now, I won't be able to get over her. I am afraid, though, that I will lose some ideas I have, so i am going to write them down now. Cataloguing the history of you and audra, starting when you first met, when you thought she was funny and cool but not hot yet. To falling in love, to leaving. To failing to move on at college. To actually maybe moving on, and then seeing her again somewhere and that failing. Conflict is love, how messy and complex it is and unfair. Can you ever move on? 60 page length. Not too long. Monologue about how love is the real thing and everything else is a distraction (riddith as contrast). about how much you think about her (every couple hours). about being a romantic and maybe not being like everyone else with love. loving her is a curse because we met too soon. All of it as a curse. How its not fair. how i almost wish she sucked so i could move on. how powerless I feel to the emotion. how new that is for me. Opening scene: therapist office. headache, maybe. college age me walking on campus in fall, no one around, the leaves falling with the wind. emphasize the emotional instability. kissing in the theater costume room. scenes like that. I have to go and study lingustics now. **** this **** I feel weird rn and I don't know why. I feel so many emotions and I don't know which ones. Hope you're doing better than I am, Kinch