A letter from Sep 24, 2023

Dear FutureMe, Hello. Hi. It's... me, you, well from the past sept 24, 2023. I just wanna ask if are you still unstable. I just wish that you finished school and you are not dead yet. Ahahhaa. Actually, I just finished having a mental breakdown. I'm just sad. No one understands me. I can't even understand myself. I don't have many friends. I'm introverted. I hope you got out of this hard shell. Enough of that, you are a firstie in college. WMSU. BS PSYCH. You liked it. I like it. You love Taylor Swift. Do you still love her? Btw. I have soooo many questions i want you to answer. 1. Did you get help? 2. Are you not attempting ending yourself? 3. Are you and our family close now? 4. Do they accept you for who you are? 5. Are you loving the future? 6. Are we still friends with the peykprends group? 7. Are you still closed off? (Genuine question.) 8. Did you write your book? 9. Are you still making music? And.......... 10. Are you.... happy now? Yknow. In this stage of life you have (this year) you wallow yourself in seflpity. You have alot, I mean, A LOT, of regrets. You regret not doing enough, not taking school seriously, being a disappointment. You regret it. You were smart, but you were burnt out. You have been pushed to your limits that you broke. In short you are depressed. Your family, our family, was very disappointed. You were once the golden child. Ahahah. But i guess you were just coated with artificial gold. You were so tired you gave up. You don't have a good relationship with your brother, strained with your mother, awkward with father, closed off to family. You tend to keep to yourself. Cause when you cried for help, they never came. You vowed to.yourself that you will never show your weakness in front of them. You never cry in front of them anymore. You act like everythings a joke. Dark humor spouting from your mouth. You hated the part where you thought you're free from dictation, but you are still trapped. You still wanted to prove yourself to them. To be accepted. To be acknowledged. But Yen, pls stop. Your hurting yourself. Enough. I don't want read this in the futire and still feel the same. I am.hoping somebody helped me. Cause if there's noone. Then I might be dead. Yen, I am hoping that inside you, the kid who likes the rain, with her curious nature, the one who makes paper dresses, blankets as dresses is still there. Waiting to be acknowledged by you. To her as your past, me as the present, you as the future. Even though I can't seem to love myself in this timeline, i hope that in.the future, I will love you till the sun dies, When the universe cease to expand And everything comes to an end Sincerly, The rebellious emo version of you