A letter from Sep 23, 2023

Dear Future Me, It's September 23rd, 2023. I'm going to real honest real fast. I am writing this letter because I am so scared about my future. I have been applying to so many internships and getting rejected. Engineering school feels so hard right now. I'm so terrified that I won't be able to get a job when I graduate because I am not good at anything. I'm afraid I am not cut out for it. And I'm afraid I'm gonna be poor and lonely. It always looks like it feels so easy for everyone around me, but maybe it isn't - I don't know. I am stressed and tired. But there are good things too. I live with Asho, we have a lot of fun together. I get to see Apa and William often, and that's awesome. I love all of them so much. I am also making some friends in my classes, for the first time since I came to college. It's my junior year now. I feel like turning 20 earlier in the year made my life so much more complicated. I need to learn how to breath it seems, over and over again. I cried while writing this. I love you. I hope everything turns out okay. I hope you can find fulfillment in your life everyday. I hope you've picked up learning the cello by now. I know you missed playing the violin from when you were a kid. I believe in you, even if I'm having a hard time believing in me right now. See you later & I'll be here always, Me