A letter from Sep 18, 2023

Dear FutureMe, How are you? There are so much I want to get to know about you. It is crazy how these letters always brings me back to a flash of memory of a time period that no longer resignates with me, which is why I am currently composing this letter. I suppose. I am currently so procrastinating my essay, but hey, it is the second writing piece so it shouldn't be too much of a worry. I guess by this time you have already graduated high school and is on your second year of university. How is it? Well, not like I can get your response anyway. I am filled with existential dread for the rest of my high school career. All my peers are so knowledgeable in the classes, and I feel like a fake person trying to blend in. After all, I am doing IB, a program of suffering and that only. I am already starting to regret choosing physics and math as high level courses, not to mention English and ITGS also being pain in the *** high level courses. Everyone in those classes are so smart, with their previous percentages being 99%. I have always been on the higher end of marks, but where do I stand in a crowd of sky high marks? Today I just made a brilliant decision to switch French to Mandarin for the sake of my sanity, if the couselor allows it tomorrow. Honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you dropped out. I always like to think I am strong enough to continue what I want to, but maybe this programme will be the ***** of me. I can feel the pressure already. I just hope you got some refund for our parents if you did drop out. Honestly, I know the next two years will be long and dreadful. I already look forward to next year where I get two spare blocks and no longer have 7AM TOK class, and when exams are over and I get to vacation. Either way, whichever school you are planning to go to, whether it be the prison university close to us or a prestigious top 20, I support your decision. I know you tried your hardest, as I always try my hardest. What happened to our extracurriculars? You probably left cadets awhile back, but were you ever able to become the RSM, or at least the CSM? We do have to competitions, so I understand if you couldn't fulfill any of those roles. However, I hope you were able to end our cadets journey on a happy end. Six whole years. I am forever grateful to cadets for teaching me so much valuable skills. Without it, I'll just be a shy girl hiding behind her parent's back. Now, I created a club. How was A Little Change? I hope you were able to fulfill all of your fundrising goals. We are going through a bit of a tough patch right now, but I'm sure we will be okay and continue our club to the end, contributing a little to the Children's Hospital. As the junior captain of Dragon Boat Team, I hope we were able to get at least one medal for the next two years. As I am not athletic at all, winning medals under my leadership will be the biggest accomplishment ever. Last but not least, I have to mention working in the senior home. I really do enjoy it, the atmosphere, the friendly colleagues, the seniors that are so nice. I know I will be missing it so much once I am forced to quit. Even though the money isn't as much, the experience is worth it. Enough about me. As much as I will like to know how the rest of my life will look like, I have come in terms with being in the dark. That is, until one day I look back and think "why did I even worry about that small thing?". I bet that is what is going through your mind right now. Your worries are probably a lot more trivial than mine, and you are laughing at my struggles now. Well either way, be happy. Stop worrying and just enjoy life. You are a university student, you have so much more freedoms than I do. You have a lot more in front of you, and I root for you as your past self. You can do it! You know who