A letter from Sep 12, 2023

Dear Future Me, i'm here today in the classroom; on the first row, 4th seat. well, hahaha, in case you hate it now, you loved sitting on the first row. yes daaai, konpidens iz da key. actually, nabored lang kami ni ate klowee. hahaha i’m sitting beside her at the moment. did you know that today, nagwalk out si sir brando. may recitation kasi kami and then pass-the-ball yung style. tapos sis, hahaha, nasabi na ba namang 'wag daw ibato, e nervousness kicks, naibato pa rin yung bola. HAHAHUHU ayon tuloy, wala raw exam bukas. sis, 'sensya na pero bahala ka na talaga sa future kapag hindi kami pinag-exam bukas. anw, how are you at the moment? how's your shs lifee? and your mind sis, kinakaya pa ba? hahaha. i have so many questions. i hope you know na growing up is your biggest nightmare at this very point of time. nonono, ayaw ko talagang mag-shs; much more, college. pero it's how we do naman. kahit pa ata ayaw natin to the bones, eventually, no choice pa rin but to work on stuffs especially sa studies. but the lovely thing is, eventually, we make it din naman. friends pa rin kayo ng jhs classmates mo? ehm, sanaa. i am going to miss these junior years sis. u know, trying so much na 'wag ma-attach pero, friends are friends, fam is fam.ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ do you still love emoticons by the wayy? 'di pa naman siya jeje🌕 'no? and probably by now, you're crying over your math lessons pa. hahaha, that's one thing na sa tingin ko talaga magkaka-totoo. sis, 'di ko na kaya 'tong mga equations ng panahon, nakakaiyak na talaga. T^T uyy thea, si strainer pa rin ba? 'musta na kayo 'te? and if not, meron bang iba? HAHAHAH feeling ko at this point of your life kasi naka-cross out na talaga yung mga crushie e. study first 'yan kasi. < 3 sana naman ateng mabait na sa'yo si strainer ngayon. hahshsh if hindi pa rin kayo friends man lang, kawawa ka naman : p hahahah jk. how i wish by now that you're reading this, you're not as pressured na sa acads as you are currently. may you learn to let go of our unrealistic goals about perfection and knowledge. sana, by this time, you've already learned the "it is what it is" mindset. don't be too hard on yourself, ha? we're all blessed to know a lot for some things, and only know a few for others. you can never take it all on your shoulders. we have to let go of some vain dreams, hehe. but i'm proud of you, dear me. and i know that many people are. i want you to remember what your teacher kath always used to say. wala kang kailangang patunayan. you don't have to prove yourself because, you are already enough just the way you are. no pretension anymore, okay?perhaps, if you aren't over it yet, it's time to be a little freer and kinder to your health and self. take a deep breath theaaa. not being as good as before doesn't mean not being good enough anymore. we're simply growing my love. how's your writing life? have you been growing your meadow of vocabulary and wisdom? you can do so many amazing things and weave the most beautiful of words, i know. you are able to find beauty to everything, and i hope you haven't given up on your dream of writing a book yet. or, waaait. meron na? hihihi, so exciting! i know, 3 years from now, things will be different. some parts of my life today may have to slip off my grasp. but i hope you're doing good. if this reaches you at such a downing moment, thea, things will be better. times are tough currently for me too. i don't know how i will handle these works altogether. but by the time you see this again, i’ve carried on. and if i can carry on through these tough times, ikaw paaa. mahirap isipin at the moment pero, you will make it too. padayon lang. and keep on casting all your cares to Jesus. how's your ministry? i'm really, really excited to know what's in storeee for our future. stay faithful and full of joy my butterfly. you don't get it, i know. and you don't feel like you're doing enough although you're trying your best. but thea, i want you to know that you never got it. and dear me, you will never be enough. that is the truth. and yet, through it all, God has got you. i know that is one thing that will never change until now and no matter how many years pass. just hold on. His strength will always be enough for you. please smileee. i hope that by the time you read this, you're not insecure of your smile anymore. i know you’ll gain that too. i'd be very happy to know na you can laugh now truly from your soul whoever may be around. hahaha, do you wear buns again? sanaa! this is your sign to treat yourself on a food trip with someone you're close with or basta, this is your sign to calm over all the pressure muna. have some time to look at the world. i love you my butterflyyy. i wish you all the best of your days. and as this note reaches you, may the blessings and encouragements reach out to you too. me, your 13 year old self.♡