A letter from Sep 04, 2023

Hey I definitely totally know that you forgot about this. Why? Because you're me. How is it going? Are you still studying Computer Engineering, still at UH Manoa, still friends with Ryley? Honestly I would be surprised if you said yes even once. Well, anyways. Here's the update: - I'm 18. You'll be 21. Did you wait to drink like I have? It's unbelievable the amount of times I've turned down alcohol and vaping and smoking. I'm genuinely concerned to find good friends. I feel like I'm missing out. - I miss mom and dad. I feel sad that they are never going to have any kids living with them anymore. I'm sad that I've already used up most of my time with them. I love them. - Are you still listening to 21 Savage? Fav. songs rn are Immortal, It Never Rains in California, and uh I don't really know. - Do you got a dude? I honestly don't think I ever seen a person that I want to kiss. Like not even Scott. Sorry bout it. - Are you still besties with Juliane? Promise me you are. I'm scared that we won't be friends throughout college. That highschool track and volleyball was it. Cause that's really why we were close to begin with. I miss that. - Mental state: Fine with underlying lonliness. Thinking about that sentence that I found in my journal I wrote after my Junior year of high school: "sometimes I feel like my loneliness is so great I'll never understand it." Do you still feel that way? Will I ever not? - Well did I cross any of this stuff off my todo: skydiving, swimming with sharks, getting good at surfing, do some cute crafts, complete a painting I actually like, be happy - Listen now, I don't want to offend nobody or get too touchy... what do you believe? Are you a Christian? Like really? 'Cause right now Christians seem like the only people who don't vape. - Well, I miss you. I don't really know what that means. I'm scared of you, and I'm intimidated by you too. I don't want to be you either. I really hope that I can get to writing more things to myself just because writing in a journal feels like I'll read it the next day anyway. I don't trust you to keep this to yourself, so I feel like I'm writing to your future boyfriend.-- I'm glad Kathryn found her person. I know your a funny guy because I trust Kathryn (ooo I wonder if she's still a virgin) to date a guy I like. Well it's late. It's 1:25 am, I'm in my dorm bunk bed in Honolulu, HI. It's my third week of school. I'm across the room from Ryley, who's watching Grey's Anatomy. I'm sad when I'm around her because I don't really get along with her. Not like arguing, but like I just feel lonely when I'm around her and it makes me sad. I... want to go home. I want to be able to cry. And I want to be happy. Ugh sorry. You'll probably be in a better place when you read this. I wonder what you'll be worrying about. What are you doing right now, checking your emails? You're so mysterious Kathryn. ... or is it Kat? Out.