A letter from Aug 26, 2023

Dear FutureMe, hey there future lu. im bored and i figured i would force my future self to remember **** :) anyway a quite life update- or- well idk what i’d call it. So i think the last time i wrote to you i was having a bit of a crisis, that had kinda tripled but it’s fine. I’m working for Aubrey Graham right now! it pays really well but it takes a long time, and i’m kind of having a rough time getting used to not being home as much. On top of that we’re also still working for Katie on the weekends, so i’m working 6 days a week total lol. Tuesday-sunday, fun times. I am happy i’m making so much money though, at least for a 14yr. Um also the last time i wrote percy was still okay, haha yeah well that died out quick. She decided to **** herself in the hock and try to die. The recovery is finally over, although that **** was mentally draining. We’ve moved on to light rehab. And it’s ******* mind numbing. i feel like i’m never gonna get anywhere with this. Like she’s being so so so good about the whole process, and she’s working amazing on the lunge line. it’s just hard to believe we could ever get back to jumping 3ft again. did we make it lu? i feel like i’m gonna **** this up, i’m scared to do anything wrong, like one wrong move and i could literally screw up everything i’ve worked so hard for. I just want my baby back i know it won’t be the same at first, like it’s not gonna be magically back to normal, but just to feel her under me again (that’s what she said) it would make me feel so much better School is going okay for the most part, i’m actually getting straight a’s! Math is so hard though lol. ngl i’m totally cheating my way through that. Once they start trying to add ! next to letters and calling it math i give up lol. but the anxiety has gone down for the most part, at least when it comes to school. i really like this new program idk if i’m actually giving a **** this year or if the program is just easier. whatever it is i’m thankful i’m passing haha Last time i wrote to you i think i was really wanting to be friends with the girls at the barn.. well a quick reminder that we have cara nowwww!!! …we still have cara right? istg if you **** this up with her i will **** us anyway, she’s my best friend, like fr this time. she cares i can actually be me around her. it’s funny i didn’t realize just how much i was missing until i got it handed to me She and i started really talking a few weeks before Percy got hurt. And we really started bonding after it happened, like literally that day. I texted her and she was on her way in seconds. got there and gave me the biggest hug and told me it would be okay. she waited with me until the vets got there and we took percy home. i wish i took a photo of the text she sent me after, because although i had already been crying that day, it brought me to tears. I really hope she keeps caring about me like she does now. And how i care about her. I cant **** this one up we don’t **** it up right? i can’t go back to being alone again. On a lighter note-.. I’ve found a lot of comfort in watching Ranboo’s streams recently. Idk something about their voice does something to my brain lol. I’m doing my stupid little hyperfixation thing and i’m gonna go through every stream they’ve ever recorded and watch it. we have mental issues don’t we? anyway it’s probably going to take a while because he is still actively streaming and he has about 4 years of content to go through. So with my current schedule it’s gonna take me a hot minute haha Yeah that’s my task for you this time. I want you to chill out and take a few hours to watch a ranboo stream. Idc which one but just chill for a bit. We got a dog too!! Mom found her in a creek by the road with connie. Her name is bella (because every middle class white family has to have a dog named bella apparently) But she’s really really cute i love her Oh!!! 18 days until we get our permit!! assuming i don’t fail lol. i am absolutely terrified we are a good driver by the time we’re 18 right? we’d better ******* be. i need an escape haha anyway, i’ve run out of things to talk about, so have a wonderful day, enjoy being an adult! Go watch a stream for me and give your cara a hug if you can. Happy birthday lu. -lu