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Dear FutureMe,
It seems I'm out of a job again and am sitting here on my *** doing nothing better with myself but typing out this letter. Maybe you'll have moved by now like the family was talking about, or maybe you'll still be stuck in the middle of a city too rich to care about you. Either way, I hope life is going better for me where you are, or well, where I am when I'm reading this then.
P.S. Stay hydrated, make sure to keep our friends close, and if you haven't already started, LOOSE SOME **** WEIGHT
Sincerely, past you... me... whatever
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