A letter from Aug 06, 2023

Dear FutureMe, yes hey so remember last week when i said in everyone of these letters id tell you about how id failed to study this week, yes exactly that. i did decide to study, i think wednesday was it, and i did, study, for a solid, what like 5 hours, but that's as far as i lasted. immediately then i gave up. then i sat down and watched good omens and its so good i'm obsessed. the day after i found out that the second season was out so i just HAD to watch that and arguably the first season is better but it still was so good i watched it all again. both seasons, for a second time. im trying so hard to download crowleys personality. it is a bit difficult when, i am a human, in fact, but still im currently going feral for this show. FERAL. I want to read the book as well but im kinda afraid. ive never read a book after watching a show. in my experience books and shows dont go well together. i dont want to ruin the book or the show for myself. anyway, you can see how i haven't studied at all and probably won't until the good omens brain rot is over. i literally cant tell you enough about crowley, specifically. i'm bursting with excitement. when you receive these letters the third season will be coming out, im so excited for you! can't wait! but there was more to this week; artina made peace at some point. and i thought maybe things would be ok, but noooo she just had to go and remind me of why i was upset with her in the first place. so now idk what to say. i've had very conflicting feelings about her this week. i think i'm still leaning towards annoying *****. but maybe that's bc just today did she tell me to stop making a discussion out of everything. when i was just trying to tell her how wrong she was and how good posture had nothing to do with the ability to sit straight all day, everyday. i think bahar is also the reason for the conflict between us. trios never get along ig. either way she's been in the way. she walks into the picture and suddenly it feels like i have to leave said picture. though its like that with artina and everyone ig. maybe its me. maybe its not. idc, im just going to stop giving her my opinions, or no im going to stop discussing them with her. i'm going to stop discussing things with people in general. ill just start stating my beliefs as facts, and i will not tolerate opposition at all. i will operate on a im right ur wrong basis without explanation, and we'll see if i'm the one who turns everything into a discussion. who even cares, **** everyone. unfortunately that's not all. i'm actually panicking about this one :) i haven't done the homework for tomorrow and i'm in trouble bc i skipped a lesson today so they'll give me extra **** for it :) its late i just spent all... update they didn't. not really. i just got this long *** conversation about... stuff. i didn't really listen lol. i do wonder sometimes if im writing you two letters a week, or if the letter im referencing is not from last week, but two weeks ago. bc i have terrible memory and i'm even worse with time. i cant tell you if i actually started watching good omens on wednesday, or was it before then, to save my life! but if your memory is as bad as mine (which it probably is even worse then mine) you wont know either and that's fine. if you never show off ur only critic is urself :) josef told me "**** you" today for some unclear reason. if i were to guess id guess its bc i "ignored" his massages. i think he needs to have a little more understanding for my situation, its not easy the academic life specially this last year. unfortunately i'm afraid i do not have time for idle chatting and cant indulge him. i did predict this, didnt i? i knew this year would not only be tough for me but for him :( i hope its not too bad. my mom says im a go big or go home person, like my dad. she thinks i either wont want something or if i do want something ill aim for the moon. i suppose shes right, i have high expectations of myself or something like that. everyone is telling me how clever and capable i am and if i just take things head on and more seriously, i can be the best of the best. problems is, i don't really see this talent everyone seems to believe i have. i know im smarter than the average person but nothing extraordinary! i don't know man ill try my best ig. maybe ill be the best, just maybe i can do this. hopefully by the time i read this ive figured it all out. from ur dearest saba, to you (myself) with so much love <3 p.s i promised, or rather just promised wed watch good omens together this weekend i hope we still do even if hes mad at me now i really want to, NEED to watch it all again.