A letter from Aug 05, 2023

Dear FutureMe, It's 9pm on a Saturday, im lying in bed right now, I'm going to practice my German on Duolingo before I go to sleep. Before i sleep I send up a quick message to Allah, to thank him for the beautiful day i had. Even though I stayed inside all day, just waking up and existing on this earth and experiencing humanity is a joy in itself and I thank Him everyday for that, and I hope you still do too. I didn't study today even though I probably should've since Term 2 End is coming up. I played Crusader Kings III on Fatima's laptop, it really helped he destress from the week I've had. I was really stressed from I don't know what, but I snapped at all my friends, and perhaps it wasn't really fair to them. A small part of me was a little resentful that I don't seem as important to them as they are to me, now that I've relaxed a bit I still feel the same way but i don't know know how to feel about that. I'm the Head Boy, it's something I've wanted for years and I'm glad to have experienced it even though it frustrates me a lot, but that's okay because it's part and parcel of life. Right now in student council we're working on renovating the hard court, plus Rakeeb, the AP, and I have a little side project with covering the square (I hope it works out). Plus, as 2023 is the Year of Barbie and Taylor Swift, Rakeeb had the idea of everyone wearing pink to graduation. I think it's a lovely idea. I really love my family, even though we're kind of dysfunctional, and if capitalism weren't a thing my dream job would be to babysit my niece and nephew all day. Currently I only have one of each but I don't know whether those figures would change by the time you read this 😂. I don't know what I want to do yet, but I think I might end up doing MBBS. I wonder if that's what I will be doing when i read this letter the next time. I really wanna do molecular biology or something, and I wanna live in Austria and I want to eat pastries. All I know for certain is that I don't want to leave high school just yet, I'm not ready to grow up. I can't believe that I'll be graduating in 3 months, where did the time go? I hope I love the same people forever. I really want to start praying again, and I hope that in 3 years that will happen for me. But my faith is getting stronger, I can feel it and i have hope. I've never been a non-believer, it's just that it's been hard for me to pray because of papa and all my childhood baggage. I know that Allah loves me and he is watching out for me and he will call me and I will find my way back to him. I'm really excited for the biology competition in October, i really hope we win this time. I wanna win SOMETHING for this messed up highschool before I leave. I wanna know what it feels like to fall in love with a girl, and i pray that that happens to me sometime. Definitely not immediately, God knows I'm not in the right state of mind right now but maybe before the 3 years are up 😂. I wanna find someone intelligent, someone that i can talk politics with over breakfast, someone with whom i can raise kids where we 'indoctrinate' them into tearing down the patriarchy 🤣. Insha'Allah I will find that special girl who is the missing half to the pair we were created in. I'm curious as to what sort of person I'll be in 3 years. The past couple of months have already been a sort of renaissance for me and my feelings and how I perceive the word. I hope the coming years are even more enlightening, and i hope my friends are family are doing well and thriving with love and happiness. Take a moment to ********** a message or call them. Wassalam A. W