A letter from Aug 03, 2023

Dear FutureMe, how’s it going ? i don’t know bout you but we are struggling right now . i feel lost and empty but i don’t think i’m feeling that way just how i perceive life at the moment . i feel like the joy of life has been sucked out of me . but anyways we’re not talking to our pookiebooty ykw anymore bc i don’t even know seems like he has found someone better but is she really better? i dead did everything for him i lived for him do you k ow how that sounds ??? but yk what what makes him happy makes me happy bc i want nothing but the best for him. i am contenpling going to the gym when i come back to brampton there’s one near the house nd honestly i don’t care if people from school see me js bc i’m doing it fr me type shi. i also wrote my resume that i am going to drop around plenty of places. other than that i think life is cool i js wish i was living more . i really hope you reached for our freedom. i feel so stuck in this house i js want to be free bro now i’m just boosting it but i want to write as much as i can because honestly i want to look back at this and say ****. well it’s the summer to 10th grade and you can guess it in excited asfffff!!! i’m getting closer and closer to graduate and literally i’m so excited. i chose businesss and hospitality bc i started hospitality but i switched skls so like yup. business i wanted to do it but my dad also wanted me to do it so i don’t rlly want to do it anymore 🌚 but ykw i’ll js do it because i lose nothing type ****. at this moment of life want a psycology major with a business minor or wtv the name is. i want to work in the conselor field with kids in jail , adults in jail and abused woman and children. yes really specefic . i also want to be a therapist honestly as long as i’m helping someone i’m okay with it. i’m leaning for mental health so much because of the stigma around mental health being “ white people **** “ in the black or even just in the african community . i want to shed light that no it’s not my phone the issue no i’m not just lazy that yes i am depressed . also want to touch on body image because i’ve always suffered on that nd no one could really relate because everyone is so healthy and skinny bla bla bla yk the vibes . i’m sure by then when you get this letter you’re probably going to be so hot and banging !! if i do the math properly when you get this letter we are going to be goig to college / uni . i want to know do we still talk to our friends from sainte famille ? elaura rianna and christa? my holy trinity of happiness they will forever have a place in my heart. especially elaura she just gets me you know . please God don’t make me and that girl have an argument cs i’ll lose myself ☠️. what about brian i fw him heavy i hope we still talk . other than that it’s just my same friends ahskey and audtey ( the twins ) , abrianna even if we don’t talk much uhm yah. please make more friends for us being a loner sucks . i mean yes less problems but i like being social and texting people sigh. and you too grown to be on yubo nd wizz now and i hope your *** ain’t ok tinder either. can’t be fw no deadbeat baby daddy that’s gonna end up beating you till you dead . i really hope by the time i read this i find my first love or bf idk just something . being me has really clogged any chanced of having teen romance but im really praying we do. yk for character development . is nicki minaj stilll alove? the weeknd? gosh those are my babes esp nicki minaj bc idk who’s a better barb than me 😂😂 ( prolly a lot of people ) LMFOAODOOOO uhm chile ahyways the weeknd old music like thirday house of valoond echoes of silence r literlaly the best thing that has blessed my ears . to this day i miss pop smoke ❤️ he was so young and was about to pop tf off. enough about music now. let’s see if the next topic can make me reach to 1000 words for you my love oh my lord i wonder what university i’m gonnago to. i don’t wanna stay too close to my parents just because i need that space espicially since i’m gonna be an adult now . rn my choices are the uk. so that i can also experience life as an adult , but i also want to go to an hbcu. i feel like ima be at my place moreover there . as someone th at has struggled with my racial identity . not that i didn’t accept that i was african but i didn’t like it bc i would get made fun of . can you beleive i used to tell people in jamaican? LMFAOOOO lord that was such a good era. what should er talk about . we were never good w rhen it came to finding topics were we. well let’s talk aboutttt our issues and see if we healed some of them. daddy issues , trust issues , abondment issues idk what other issues i coukd have but not gonna lie they just pile up and who’s fault is that? that nigglet that dropped his sperm in my motha like ugh why would you do that and he’d still have the audacity to say that he didn’t do abytbint . my daddy issues are probably not the worst but they affect everything in my life . i will always have that perception that oh “ he won’t like this or thag “ the validation i strive from men is almost disgusting how much it matters to me.” will he like this selfie if i show more ***** more back and more skin” i’m glad i haven’t met someone that eoukd exploit me but nfl i wouldn’t mind wink wink but ugh. still i wish i had a fresh mind not affected by this ******** . a mind fresh a fresh mind a teenager should have. going out w friwnds getting in trouble **** like that. i the secinf i’m getting a job i need to get a good plug 🔌 🍃🌚. i love the smell of weed it’s almost embarassiny 😭. i’ve only done it once or twice but i was in a pen. i want to try the real thing. nd u want a stoner bc that’ll rollup w me laying on his lap nd use my thighs to ash them 😁😁 gosh i’m so lonely . nd horny 😔 okay bye future me and write me back pelase . rmb i love you you love me we love eachother❤️ please keep yourself safe stay alive for us . and congrats on that graduation babes