A letter from July 24th, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I somehow have the urge to write something again... today was another day that I would rather not have experienced. I don't want to share my problems and more with others, but keeping them alone makes me depressed. I have bouts of crying, my heart is racing, I have s^c1d thoughts but I can never share them with anyone because otherwise I would be labeled as weird or depressed :| It's refreshing to write something and cry and rethink life without anyone really noticing. I have written several letters in the past but only received one so far. Do I even want to read the rest? Am I willing to put the grief and thoughts I had then with those of now? Why should I read anything from my past at all if I haven't finished with it and still have the same issues and thoughts everyday. I still haven't managed to escape from hell ... as long as I haven't managed to do that, I see no point in continuing to live. I may never read this letter just like the rest of the letters I left behind, but it was nice to write them all and pour my heart out