A letter from Jul 23, 2023

Dear FutureMe, i'm a day early, and as i wait for artina to deign and check her email, i thought why not write the letter :) so heyy girly pop, hows ur day! lol imagine if in two years im not comfortable with female pronouns and pet names and here i am getting misgendered by my teenage self. sry non binary king, keep ur head up! anyway enough with the cringe, i did the math today and if i study for 3 and a half hours a day and 6 hours on weekends, i might just make it! so i thought id starts today. the problem is i cant start until i know what the physics homework for tomorrow is and artina is god knows where, doing god knows what, so she cant respond to my emails >_< here i am not knowing wtf to do anyway, enough about that and more about my week. i think i studied more this last week than I've done my entire life. which is saying bc i didn't even study much. i just stressed about it. ig that one time i had this really important geometry exam i studied more than this but that was an exception and it wasn't even for school. josefs still off somewhere on some beach in northern africa and we don't talk much. hes been busy fantasizing about moving out, even tho ill move out a year earlier than him and he still has two more years to go. he kept talking about us being neighbors or moving in and i'm just like sweet dreams, bestie sweet dreams. ig i shouldn't give up on our childhood dreams so easily but i'm learning to be more realistic. not sure if that's a good thing. i don't want to mature :( dude i even cleaned my room this weekend *eyeroll* imagine if you live with him and now ur just shaking ur head in amusement bc you never thought wed get there lol, i hope so also i did the math and an entire month or more like three weeks ( which is a month lol) has gone from my one year of time studying before the big bang and god i'm still nowhere close to where i need to be. i need to study with a stricter schedule, even if i hate schedules, and order and just yikes. for example i need to get up NOW and study. i've already wasted so much time, no, not wasted, time can not be wasted. lets hope arty checked her email in these 20 minutes i've been writing. ariana is so cute. i would both **** and die for her. she does the naruto run and u can ask her "wheres power?" and she'll point at a lamp and say "power!" what a cutie. sometimes i feel underappreciated by my family and feel that the boys overshadow me and my voice, but with her around i couldn't care less what they think. she a mischievous little goofball <3 wont bother you for much longer, i love you, you're prefect in all ur imperfections, WE are, trust me, i would know ;) p.s. i have a razor cut on my skin rn bc i shaved my face today and **** it burned. still burns.