A letter from Jul 16, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I just cried a little bit earlier. I saw that the webtoon that I was reading back then when I was still in 10th grade was getting a live action remake. I still feel like crying. that was my strength, that webtoon showed me what my dreams are, that webtoon was the one that kept me pushing to follow my dreams my passions. I relied on that webtoon. I’ve through far places, that webtoon pushed me…. and when it ended, what do you think happened, to a person that relied to much on a story. I remember crying so much that night when it ended, I even commented on the last chapter, and someone replying that a good thing about a story is that you can still read it over again but its never the same, my pillar of strength ended. I didn’t finish my portfolio I passed a half assed finished art to the college of my dreams and failing. not reaching the quota. I have a lot of plans for that portfolio but my strength was gone. my weakness grew. My mom’s criticism who I used to not care because the main character also has a mom who keeps downgrading her daughter. All her criticisms suddenly hurts a lot so much, whenever I tried to make art, I didn’t realize how I am still so sad about the outcome, Im crying so much again right now. I don’t even know if i still like art right now, can I still do it, im scared. I’ve left that dream for more than a year now, I understand where my mom is coming from. We did not came from a rich family, I could not dream something I cannot reach is what she says. I still wonder if that webtoon still kept on going until I have passed my portfolio, would I be have been able to pass or the outcome still the same, but I believe that I would have given my best with my strength beside me. That webtoon was spirit fingers…