A letter from Jul 15, 2023

Dear Future Me. Its the end of my term 2 holidays and I have to pick my subjects next term. I keep telling people I dont care about what I pick and Im seeing where my subjects take me because Im not interested in anything. I like baking and photography, but thats it. I dont know what to pick. Im 15, and I still go through phases all the time, how am i meant to pick my subjects based off what I want to be. Im 15?? Im a literal child. I dont know what to pick and although I act like it doesnt matter I am panicking a little bit because I dont want to pick subjects i hate. Im not fully passionate in anything. I love photography, being a wedding photography would be cool but what about the pay and the deeper things. Baking is cool, but it depends how far it gets, the pay, and signing up for a food registration is expensive. I want to start a business but what do i start my business on. I hate the fact life makes us pick what we want to do at a young age because i dont know. Last year, I wanted to be a doctor because i watched a ton of doctor shows. I go through phases. Im low-key stressing and i hope my 18 year old self picked well. Did you??. Im getting so blind. I hate it. I need lasik as soon as possible. I have to admit i spent my holidays watching movies the whole time but my other friends use a device more then me. Why am i getting blinder. Please tell me youre not -5. Im -3.75 right now but maybe a -4.00. Also today, I was wearing a fragile orange top my sister had and i was speeding back to her room and it got caught on the door handle. It ripped a tiny hole. and its even worse because she told me she was trying to sell it for $100. Youre kidding. I havent told her and I dont plan on too. I feel so bad I cant have expensive things ive broken my phone like three times. Do you have a job? I got a job at tank but realised it would take away a part of my childhood and it was also too much work because it was in glenfield. Ive applied for tons of jobs but keep getting rejected, but i think its because im not 16. I hope I get a christmas casual job because I need my own money. then i will begin to feel less and less guilty. Can you drive? Im starting to study because I want my drivers license as soon as possible. But the thought of driving is kind of scary. I might be one of those people that are scared but i will still try because I want my license. hate the bus. I realise my family have given me a lot. Anyways, little rant. 18!!! such a young age to live. The world really makes us move on faster then we should, 18 is still a child, and such a young age to pick what you are going to do with your life. Bye. And Happy Birthday. - Rianna Kanji, Your over half way 15 year old self almost 16.