A letter from Jul 05, 2023

Dear FutureMe, Time: after 4:00 am I don't know why we keep doing this to ourselves. We know that we deserve better and yet we keep allowing him to hurt us, we keep hurting ourselves, we keep going back to him and we keep holding onto to hope. We're fools, that what we are, me and you, fools, he clearly tells and shows us that he's just using yet somehow we keep going back. I never thought something like this would ever happen to us, we like him too much, what is it about his perfect smile, laughter and his handsome face and **** body that we just can't seem to let go of? Does he care about us? No, I don't think he does, unless it beneficial to him. And It's our fault, my fault I make it seem like I'm not bothered by this at all and I'm ok with everything but I'm not and I don't have the first clue how to tell him because even though he's bad for me and this is no fun and not what I want He's all I want And I know, that's pathetic, do you think he'd do this to himself for me, no he wouldn't And Because he's just him, brandon austin davis You know what breaks me, us It sounds like something I'm only saying to exaggerate but I swear on my mom's life, on my life He's on my mind every second of everyday I wake up and I check to see if he posted or texted, replied to what I posted just for him to see I have times where I jump up out of bed bcuz and again I swear on my life, bcuz I dreamt he texted Sometimes it's bcuz I have a bad dream about him and sometimes the dreams are too good I wonder how does it feel to him I wonder if he ever sits and think, how does dante feel about this, am I hurting him I wonder if he knows what it's like to be me To think that 3 months ago you'd never come out and you'd be alone and then you met someone and all of this mess happened and you're right back at square one, being all alone except this time The loneliness is colder You know what breaks me sometimes The way he talks about his boyfriend around as if nth never happened and he knows I still like him But were still friends "of some sort" and why, bcuz me, I, I alone, cared and didn't want us to become strangers Tonight on a google meet jordan made a joke about us being a couple Guess what he said "Doh do that" and it's not what he said really, it was his tone, like I was nth js nth like I'm crazy and so is everyone else for thinking "oh those two are a couple" because yeah nth happened and no one saw anything, yeah, mhm that's exactly what happened, I'm js crazy Dante, this is you're fault , you should've listened and moved on quicker But maybe it wasn't possible because I like-like him, it can't be love, that would be even crazier rt? I think it's hard to let go of him because he's the first for everything The first guy we've ever liked, and liked-liked First person to actually like me, to make me feel something The first person who tried with me Time: 2:57 pm (I fell asleep) Guess what happened He made me look like a complete fool, with no care in the world about how I felt The whole gc is supposed to go out tomorrow He texted in the gc "Btw, can I bring someone, my side man" I don't have to say anything else, you must rmb how you felt, how I feel Get it together, if you haven't already, please move on, we're hurting ourselves bcuz of him and he's not good for u, for us We deserve better And don't give up I love u