A letter from Jul 03, 2023

You know Marta, sometimes I just wish to be different, not be me with my personal struggles. I’m sure that I’m being too self observed right now, believing that the own struggles are the worst, lacking empathy for what others may feel. I came out to my grandparents two days ago, and they said that they don’t mind… while that’s not a bad reaction it’s still nit the greatest. How would you not mind, it sounds as if you’re saying you don’t care, but I want you to care. I thought I was long long over this but being queer feels so hard. Being straight just seems so much easier to me. I feel like I never meet other queer women, or if I do I specifically have to search for it. Not like my best friend, who just randomly ends up around guys she finds attractive all the time and is able to have such effortless romanization. I’d love to just come across a girl like that without specifically putting in hours to find people. And then I end up reverting back to those I know… but even Anna has been distant and it’s been feeling really really one-sided. Please stop reaching out to her. She should text you for once.