A letter from Jun 30, 2023

Dear Celine, I hope you are ok and above all that you have not let the disease win over your life. Why am I writing to you now? Well I cried, I cried a lot and I realized that you deserve my love and that I have to prove it to you by making you happy and by cutting the karmic bonds and finally making you live. How are you now? Are you at the University? You live in Amster*** right? as I wanted; And if you don't live there, where do you live? Have you met friends who deserve you (both genders)? And in love? Have you met the handsome boy who looks at you like a trophy? the one who takes you everywhere and always wants to be with you, the one who books two tickets at the last minute and takes you to scotland, spain or the opera? but in reality it's enough for me to know if you've found the man who wakes you up with coffee, who writes you letters, songs or poems and if he doesn't know how to do any of that, the man who photographs you or paints you in his paintings or plastic creations that are made with love. the kind of man who tucks you in when you sleep and wherever he goes he takes you too and who follow you no matter what. The trust between you two, the one you deserve, I hope has arrived. I have to apologize, for the sentimental and non-sentimental loneliness that you will feel, I decided for your sake that it was better to do it all over again, solve yourself and then see if there was room for others too. Is there anyone I know among your friends now? Has Jade stayed? Do you live together as she wished? do you have the driving licence? I hope you got a black short haired cat named Lilith and a white long haired cat named Kalos. In these three years, besides the boy, has there been a girl? of those that make you love yourself and you give it the same love. the ones you look at and say "god you are the most beautiful girl in the world". I guess she had bangs, always loved that, and reddish brown hair. But let's get back to you. Do you like yellow again? Have you stopped smoking cigarettes? Have you dared to dye your hair? Did you cut them instead? Are you okay on your own now? Do you like your body? You're eating? YOU LEARNED TO SWIM I HOPE. Have you stopped drinking alcohol? Tell me you're hair are smoother. Are you doing all those trips? Do they still call you Cel? So now you at 20, are you happy? you love yourself? because i, the 17 year old you, i rely on you and am suffering to make you smile, please after this letter forget about me forever. live in the present and say goodbye to the past. a big hello, from Cel