A letter from Jun 25, 2023

Dear Jayda, Someday. That's one of the only words that's kept me sane for the 15 years of my life (other life-saving words would include, but are not limited to, Starbucks, Aragorn, and "serenity now"), because no matter how much has gone wrong, I know that someday it will all be worth it. I live for music. It's my passion, my dream, my entire existence. And it's my biggest hope that someday (there's that beautiful word again), I will make a contribution to the music world. I don't necessarily desire fame and fortune, but I just feel like I want to share my passion for music with someone, anyone. There is someone out there with a deep passion for music somewhere inside them but they don't know how to unlock it, and I want to be the one who helps them access it, even if it's only ONE person. My ultimate dream would be to be a film composer- the next Howard Shore or Hans Zimmer. I want someone to hear a simple melody and say in recognition, "Oh, this is the theme from [whatever movie] composed by Jayda Javier," similar to the way most people react when they hear "He's a Pirate" composed by Hans Zimmer for Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, or "The Shire" composed by Howard Shore for the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, or "Welcome to Jurassic Park" composed by John Williams for Jurassic Park. I also would love to write a Broadway musical, or be a songwriter/lyricist for a pop artist, or even just become a private piano teacher. I just want to help other people see how influential and moving and truly lifechanging music can be. Everyone always tells me that I should get my priorities straight and stop focusing on things that don't matter (meaning music), and I desperately hope that someday I get a chance to prove them wrong, not to rub it in their face but to prove to myself that I am worth something. That I have talent and skill. That I'm not just a pathetic teenage girl with unrealistic dreams. I guess now I'm kinda just venting lol... I've never had a chance to say these things to anyone so it's nice to get it off my chest. I hope as you're reading this in the future (you'll be 18 by the time this is delivered), you're smiling and saying, "You did it, Jayda. You've changed someone's life, helped them see what music is really about." And I hope that, even if that's not what you're saying and that's not where your life ended up taking you, I hope you're saying, "I wish I could hug you and tell you that you ARE worth something, and you don't need your music to be out there to have worth," because even though I just wrote those words, I don't believe them. Anyway, this is long and you're probably tired of seeing the words that your younger self wrote three years ago, so I'll end this now. I just hope that you've found who you are and are happy, living a good life, and are worth something to you. <3