A letter from Jun 21, 2023

Dear FutureMe, Grade 9 is almost over and I feel the end coming towards me at rapid speeds. My life will officially be over, done, deceased, and ruined in exactly 2 months and 14 days (when high school starts). The second my sad, probably still, $30 Walmart shoes step into that school I feel as if my life will burn in the pits of hell, and I will never see the light of day again. I don't know how much I should trust myself but it feels like I should not. Do you not do homework? Are you horrible at math? Did you quit band like the loser you are? I hope not to all of those. Those would all suck. Go do your unfinished homework, please graduate so I don't have to spend another year learning earth science and "why poetry is important for the soul". It's not. They're delusional. Don't be delusional. What are you into now? Clarinet? Reading? Writing? Drawing? Animating on the occasional blue-moon time that occurs once every 10 years? I hope I'm not basic. I hope I'm not into golfing. Do I rollerblade now? Am I good? I better be. I also better have a new job instead of that godforsaken paper route. Speaking of, Did I get that job at the fruit stand? is it good? Am I slightly less broke? Right now I have about 22 dollars to my name, which probably isn't good for college, is it? No. Do NOT be broke. Who are my friends? Jada, Ayana, Ashpee, Astro, etc? I hope I'm not friends with the kids whose hair curls around their hats like a homemade water bottle holder. Are my friends nice? Do I have any online friends? Do I have social media back in general? How's my hair? Long, short, shaved, bald? Better not be bald, that's weird. Is my closet better? Jada said she would help me clean it out over the summer, I think I will. Do I dress better? God, I hope so. I doubt it can get worse than this. At least I hope not. Am I still single? Did I ever date ANYONE? like at all?? I hope so. If I'm still single by then I might drown. By my own hands. Thats all... I think. Knowing me I'll probably go home and think of a new question and send myself a second email. Or not. I'm too lazy for that if I'm being honest. See me in 3 years. I hope. - Sophie, (still Sophie?) P.S, I sent myself this on two different emails, one is this one and the other is soapanus.