A letter from Jun 19, 2023

Dear FutureMe, hi so this is the second go, who knew writing a letter to myself would be so difficult, right? its the nineteenth of June today, happy pride month to me, and its the 28th of January for you, happy birthday to you! i hope you have an amazing, stress free day without anyone dying to steal the spotlight. (i dont think i will ever get over it.) so i contemplated sending this to a far older version of us, like a thirty year old me, but then i got anxious that maybe no-one would ever receive it then, so i settled for a time i think things are guaranteed to be different. i did the math and next year around this time ill be in deep **** bc ill be studying and I'm not hopeful whatsoever so i imagine for another year after that ill still be in deep **** for whatever reason. but by the year after that i have got to have figured things out, and please don't tell me you still haven't i will cry. (like you will while reading this probably bc we are emo like that) and so by my birthday 2026 i imagine i will be out of here and perhaps studying in a decent uni abroad. maybe i have friends, maybe I'm still too anxious to make friends. either way i think ill have moved on. i dont expect to be at a better place emotionally but physically i hope. (you are free to confirm or deny this as you read ofc) maybe i have a little job, Eh? or a boyfriend even, (or girlfriend) *wriggles eyebrows conspicuously*.(but serious tho if i havnt had *** by then idk what i will do) anyhow we know how life be sometimes maybe a foreign prince charming on a white stallion will ask for my hand or maybe i finally get rescued by our gang of fictional friends and they take me to their magical world and we are finally free to fight **** and clever villains as we wish in another world, on another planet. or maybe you're still here and nothing has indeed changed and we're still miserable. god i hope that's not the case. but who am i to talk. no-one knows how far apart our lives could be how much could change in two-three years. are we the same looser cooped up in our room or have we finally taken flight? although technically if you were rescued by the fictional gang of people you would probably never receive this and that'd be sad. anyway regardless of how you are faring here's how im doing: terrible. thx for asking. i had my finals, and from what I've come to learn they are IMPORTANT for my future, for you. they are so awfully important that that fact alone has me paralyzed, and you already know how they went so i will say no more on that matter (bc im sure you dont want to hear more about that one time you were an idiot and didnt study for ur finals) other than i am slightly sorry. best of wishes to us and our future i love you 19.6.2023 saba