A letter from Jun 17, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I've been feeling pretty lonely lately, and I've been wondering what the younger version of myself would have thought of the life I'm living right now. Would he be proud of what I have become? Would he be disappointed? I'm not even sure why it's an important question for myself. Maybe it's the process of imagining myself as a kid, bright eyed and with so much optimism for the future. (You can obviously tell I'm not in the best mood right now) I think my younger self would see so much has changed about me, and yet, there's a familiar feeling that remains. This insatiable desire to be understood, to be listened to. That is what breaks my heart. I can point out a million reasons why I'm different, yet there's a part of me that is exactly the same. It's disheartening to see so much time pass and still feel the hollowness. "You're stagnating." "Maybe this is what you will feel for the rest of your life." "You need to do more." Those are the words of pessimism that I'm so used to hearing from myself. The words are comforting because they are familiar, but they sting nevertheless. I'm sending this letter 3 years from today because I want to say that no matter what situation you're in now, I want you to know this: hey, it's me in the past! I'm proud of you, unconditionally.