A letter from Jun 17, 2023

ok so, i've been thinking about my younger self a lot lately. i used to be this really cool, bright, bubbly, beautiful girl and then i grew up and i let all of those qualities slip away. i've been insecure and anxious since i was born but i truly believed that i would grow out of it, but instead it's just gotten worse. i'm so proud of my younger self but i'm not sure that she would be proud of me - if i was standing opposite 10 year old me right now, i'd think she'd pity me. on the other hand, i think 15 year old me would probably be pretty proud of how far we've come. even 20 year old me would be shocked at how much progress i've made in two years. so i guess that's a comforting thought. but i just keep going back to 10 year old me. i couldn't be the teenager she thought she'd be, but i really hope i can become the adult she dreamed of being i'm going to work hard on myself. i've tried to do it for present me, for future me, for my friends and family, for society in general, but none of that has ever stuck the only person whose opinion matters is 10 year old me i'm going to work hard on myself so that if i'm ever able to travel back in time and meet my 10 year old self, she'll see a woman who she's proud of and excited to become k bye ◡̈