A letter from Jun 12, 2023

Dear FutureMe, warning: some cheesy and annoying rants ahead. i just want to write the thoughts that are running through my head right now. looking back at the start of january 2023, i was not really out there looking for love, well i did pray to meet someone. but as the eldest, the daughter, and the responsible one, my goal was always success. studies. self-love. never knew there would be a day that id fall in love, hahahah it always seem like a very idiotic thing to do in my very logical reasoning. but then come april and you came. hahahaha what a joke! the jokes on me though 🥲 you ruined my peace of mind, you broke my silence. i hope you are responsible enough coming into my life, disturbing my routine, breaking my ideals by pursuing me. i hope you bear in mind the struggles of pursuing a strong independent eldest daughter. and i hope my heart will not ache. i thought growing old and being the rich single auntie was gonna be my thing, but you came and it changed to growing old with you 🥲 we're not in a relationship yet... but i hope so.. i just want to say that, i am growing attach to you. you make me feel giddy and happy. im all new to this, ive had fair share of crushes and person's i liked before but it was never to the point of having a boyfriend. yes, single since birth. but im willing to bare my heart and open myself to you. and if, you are not the one, or if somehow we didnt work. why ? what happened? at this moment im writing this cause i miss youu :(((( i wanted to talk to you but i cant demand for your time i know your still busy with school. i cant even demand for your attention cause were not in a relationship and i dont want to be clingyy :((( and sometimes i feel youre slowly losing interest in me or am i just overthinking things?? huhuhuh i want to talk to youu, i want to see your smile. but your miles aways studying. and i dont want to be someone that troubles you. but you did promise we would spend time together in august, when you get home from the academy, i am holding on to your promises.. love is crazy indeed. by the time, i read this letter, i hope were celebrating anniversaries already. we may or we may not happen, but with a hopeful heart i yearn for "ours", "us" and "together" hi, lorenz :) yours truly, T.