A letter from Jun 05, 2023

Hey, Eva. Times are rough right now, I feel like an emo kid back in 2013 or something. It's 05/06/23, the time where finals are coming up and art closings are starting. Well, so far.. I might get prescribed antidepressants. You know that I visited the school psychologist, apparently she wants to help me, by sending me to a psychiatrist and making me a possible drug addict. I'm not feeling the best these days. I barely feel motivated and I can't even bring myself to eat, drink, or spend times with my friends. Two of my classmates (Gita and Daniela) might become possible lovers. I mean it's pride month right now so I hope that they get together.. I've never been friends with lesbians before so I think it's really cool. I don't know if going to an art school was a good idea. The more time I spend at this school, the less I enjoy being there. It's just mentally and physically exhausting. I'm not sure whether you decided to switch schools or not but I hope that whatever you're doing right now makes you feel more at peace. As of right now, I'm just trying to find some kind of a hobby so I'm not really sure if I will ever be able to find one. Nothing seems interesting and fun to me. Nothing has caught my attention yet. You probably remember our hamster, Cori. He's probably dead already by this time, but right now I really enjoy having the hamster in this house. He's really cute and a bit chubby. I just really want to say that no matter what you've done, your younger self is proud of you. I'm not saying this because I truly pity myself. I just think that you definitely should learn how to appreaciate yourself more.. unlike a certain someone.. (your younger self). Hey, if our parents disowned us, it should be fine. I know that we will always find a way to avoid or solve a serious problem, even if it means that sometimes we have to confront it. You might be having some serious problems by this time, I mean, you're definitely already an adult, and all the changes still must be pretty new to you. I'm not blaming you. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. You should really stop bottling up your feelings and let them all out, and if that isn't possible, try to do that carefully piece by piece, I know that the overflowing feelings are hard to get rid of, but I believe that overtime you will feel better, if you will actually get determined enough to seriously start working on yourself. Enough of depresive talks and facts. I wonder, are you feeling happy right now? Knowing myself, I would probably wish to go back in time, to help and give some advice to my younger self. I'm still a kid, a teenager, and yet I can't help but think about such stressful things, that do not have an answer. I hope you're doing better.. no, I know that you're doing better. You must have been collecting all sort of useful informations, so I wouldn't be surprised if you had any life-changing words to say right now. I hope you found yourself a hobby, or just something that you really enjoy. I really just want to wish the best for you, for myself. I know that it's really selfish of me to say this, but I awfully crave happiness and love. I can't even imagine myself still alive at 19, or whatever age you will be in 2026. I just really don't want to be so messed up in my head. You are probably either cringing, crying or having no reaction at all right now. I mean, I wouldn't really be surprised, just rather annoyed, since I'm writing this intead of studying and all of this is happening during midnight at that. Listen to me, you are a wonderful person and no one can take such a unique trait of yours away from you. I like our eyes, I like how they shine whenever there's some source of light pointed at them. I like our smile, I like how contagious it can get. I like our chaotic personality and the fact that we can make a lot of people smile. I like how mature we are, even though it's more of a curse than a blessing. I like how clever we are, how we can solve big problems in such a short time. I like so many things about us, that's why I'm writing all of this down, so you could remember just how special you are in your own way. I love me, you, and every aspect of ours and I will never stop loving them. You should always remember how important you are, because if you won't, be sure that your younger self definitely will. Honestly, even if you had lost all of your friends, even if you had done something disgusting, bad, heart-breaking... just know that your younger self loves you, and will forever love you until the very end. Remember to take care of yourself. Sincerely, a 16 y.o. Eva