A letter from June 3rd, 2023

Dear FutureMe, Chapter 6*** It's been more than 5 months since I last saw u. It's been so long to have experienced that butterfly feeling whenever I saw u in real . I don't know whether I'm over u or not but I want to believe that I'm over u so that u won't hurt me . Even though you're not trying to hurt me intentionally but still I shouldn't see you ever in my life . But i want to see u in my dreams,I want to see your face,I want to touch your lips and run fingers over them like I did in my dreams . I want to kiss u softly just like u did to me In my sweetest euphoric vision . But I know I don't even have a reason to talk to u or see u or even message u. I feel so pathetic bcoz of my situation but I can't really help myself now . All i can do is wait... I wanted to be by ur side in ur tough times. I hated myself whenever u butched about u in frontof my friends . I hated myself for saying wrong things about u and maybe that's karma which I'm getting now . U made me feel insecure about myself bcoz of my body ,my hairs everything. Still I loved in the way I never loved myself . I want to see u But I can't and it hurts to feel the pain in my chest . This feeling has changed now . In 10th it was so good feeling to acknowledge it but now it is one of the my pains I can never heal . And this is given by u only haaarsh . I want to Hate u but I can't, guess that's how things will be always . We will always be strangers . I love u harsh