A letter from May 28, 2023

Dear Future Me, Hello, older me, It is currently 2:10 p.m. I just received an early letter from my 16-year-old self, and I feel like I wanted to write one for you too. It's funny that we didn't expect to be here; you're still here, but now you're studying at an international college, right? I'm very proud of myself right now, despite struggling at everything. I have no specific path to my goal, but now that I've made it, I must thank you. I'm thanking myself that I tried, and finally, I'm here. We made it; thank you. Right now, I'm feeling less confident and worried about the future. It's so scary to make changes; it's scary to think about moving out and starting a new life, seeing new people, finally spreading my wings, and flying through the mess, y'know? And to one day graduate and get a job, or perhaps date someone, marry them, and live together. I guess this is just life! One day you'll go down that path, and then you'll have to figure it out yourself. But I know you'll make it! I believe in you, buddy! I love you. I'm still looking to find a new therapist; I'm working on it! Despite having so many breakdowns this time around, I still struggle to maintain the smile that I always hold. I'm sad, but I won't let it get to me! I hope you can fight it too! There are people who still love you; they love you, and I love you too! Please have faith in yourself and never give up. You'll find joy in the simplest things, like making mashed potatoes or making yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's the simple joy of life, the beauty of it, and you know the world can be beautiful and life could be beautiful sometimes. You have to appreciate it, maybe with someone! I know relationships are hard, and it took so much out of you. You're kind, but please don't forget to be kind to yourself too. You're a people-pleaser, a social butterfly, and a wild card. I hope you find someone who shares the same trait as you—someone who loves you for your silliness and is willing to go down that path with you for the rest of your life. You've got charisma! Please, you can do it! I wish you well on your relationship journey. I hope Eule is still with you, despite all the fuzz that was going on. I hope she understands you more. I hope you have the courage to open up to her again. She'll understand you. But if she's not here, that's okay. People come and go; it's natural. It doesn't mean the end of the world. There are many friends, and the one I'm talking to right now is just as great! Do you remember our gang? The ones from Daniel Mullins' game fandom? Gold, D.R., Cez... Oh yeah, I hope you and Cez are doing pretty well! He's a good kid and a good brother; I hope you're still in contact with him! He's a great kid, and you love him as much as a brother you wish you had. Also outside of that are Shandee, Melody, Victor, Kyo, Sticky, Ellie, Skittles, Ratter, and Mwa. Oh, mwa! They're great friends, too! kind-hearted ones, and I love them as a very good friend of mine. Please just tell them that I love them. Thank you for being such an amazing friend. In my situation? I'm still going through artist burnout, and I'm sad that I'm not good enough or enough to be considered an artist anyhow. I'm just going through something right now, but hey, one day you'll find time to enjoy the process of making art again, and everything will be amazing. Please don't give up on yourself. I hope you create something great for the world to see. You are amazing, you are spectacular, you are... I hope you're close to graduation by now; it has been 3 years, and I hope the journey you go through is incredible. I wish you better luck in the future! Just don't forget to send yourself a letter once in a while. This has been great so far, and I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you made it. I might not be able to see it now, but in the future, I'll be holding your hand through it. I'm sorry that you have to go through such pain sometimes, but you learned from it. One day, you'll feel that spark of joy again. I love you so much. Thank you for this journey called life. I hope you eat well; heck, get a pet cat or bird even! I hope your wardrobe is filled with purple! I hope you have many duck plushies the world could offer; I hope your friends visit you sometimes; I hope you find the one; and I hope you give the world everything: your love and your kindness. I love you, Miki! Please, never give up 👆  sincerely, 19 years old Miki