A letter from May 25th, 2023

Dear Future Me, It’s you :) but freshman year you. I hope life is getting better now that you’re a senior in high school, and you’re 18. How’s school? You know, how my dream school is Columbia University. Did I ever get into Columbia? I really hope so, that’s my dream school. Even though, I feel like am not smart enough, I really try my best for Columbia. Even though am just 15 right now, with a long way too go, I think I’d do anything just to go to Columbia. Am currently struggling a lot with Algebra 1 and it’s pushing me back from my dream. I feel like it is. I just wish I had straight A’s. Well most my classes are A’s it’s just Algebra that I have a D in right now. And Info Systems I can get it up, but Algebra ***** me so much. I try so hard right now, too just make my little self in elementary happy. Cause elementary Racheal would never have believed she even has one class she’s good at. She would always search up stuff like “how to get good grades”, or “how to get perfect grades in 5th grade”. Never would she have ever thought she’d get a honors roll in 8th grade. I’ll never forget me getting an honors roll certificate in 8th grade. I don’t really care what anyone thinks. I worked very hard for it. The hardest I’ve ever worked. And I still work very hard from this day, in 9th grade. I really wanna make 12th grade me proud. I know you have been struggling alot as a kid and as a 15year old today. Just please don’t give up, i know it’s hard with lack of support from mommy and daddy, but i know you can do it. It doesn’t matter if others don’t support you, it’s about if u support yourself. Please i know you can do it. I know this is crazy to say, but I hope you’re doing well. Like mentally. I know it hard girl, with no one understanding you, you dealing with all this stress by yourself. Stress from parents, and school. All on you. Ik it’s hard. But please take care of yourself bae, if it’s anything I just want u too be okay n happy. You don’t need to be happy for anyone, not for mommy or daddy, not for Bella and Johnathan or for your friends. Be happy for u. Most of my whole life I’ve felt the need to pretend, and be someone am not. And act a way am not. Or pretend too be the sweetest most happiest person anyone knows. The girl everyone is like “oh my racheal could never do that she’s so sweet” or “racheal is literally always so quite n happy”, but behind that smile am hurting. So badly. I’ve faced so much Trauma at home. And I just want you to know, regardless of what mommy and daddy say too you, don’t give up. You are so much more. Don’t let them put u down. Ik it’s hard. But you’re 18 girl, I know u can do it. Well am go to sleep tho its 9:59PM at night right now, but I just want to say I love you so much. And never forget those who didn’t believe u when u succeeded. I love you.