A letter from May 24, 2023

Dear FutureMe, Hey girl, I'm writing to you again. Well, I actually just wanna talk to you about how i feel right now and how things start to change in our life. Usually, i just write it all in our journal but ever since i start my intern, I dont really have time for that. I actually have, but didn't even make time for it. Good new is we going to work full time job at this company (RockStar Company). But right now we're finishing our intern and things start to feel a lil bit uncomfortable. Yeah, putting yourself out of your comfort zone is quite uncomfortable. I mean, we have to force ourself to socialize more and force ourself to be nice to everyone when we don't even want to. In short, we're trying hard to please everyone here and trust me it is so tiring. When people tell you that being nice only get you hurt, YES! IT IS! I've been nice to everyone here and i'm trying my best not to hurt them with my words or my attitude. No matter how nice you are, there's still some people being mean to you for no reason. And you know what, I've been trying not to take anything personally. I've been trying to be nice to everyone eventho some of them just so mean. The more people i met, the more i realize i hate being around by people. I actually have a lot to say but i don't know how to express it all. I just wish i can cry it all out and just be mean to them the way they did. I wish i can treat them the way they treat me. It hurts a lot when people just don't know how to appreciate you. And you know what? I feels like this place is just not for me. Then why did i choose to stay? I dont know. I don't have any other place to go. Dealing with all these people are so tiring and it drain my energy. I have no more words to explain the **** i've been keeping to myself for so long. I wish you all the best in the future and don't worry about me. This girls till trying hard to be the best version of herself. She is fighting her own battles. Take care, girl. Your Past Self.