A letter from May 23, 2023

Dear FutureMe, At this point in your life you are applying for an exemption certificate, plus university, I really hope all went as you desired. I hope you are happy, for the first time in a long time I hope you are really happy, I hope you are flourishing, show them what you got🥹🫶🏿... Tomorrow I'm going to look for a job, I hope I get it just to get me through the year. I am confident for the first time in my life that things are going to be okay, I don't know how but God and my ancestors will really push through for me this time. All things have their on time, they said. It's been difficult being home and hopeless, it's been difficult to see people work through their lives while it's like I'm deep in the ocean with no way to get out, I haven't been vocal about how hard it has been but at some point in my life, I wished that I can end it all... I had a niece of mine take her own life 2 years ago, my heart broke and I wondered if I could cause my mother so much pain, honestly if it wasn't for the love I have for my mother I would have ended it all... I would one day like to have my feelings back, I want to be able to feel how being happy is... 😂😂The purpose of this letter was to encourage you but now I'm turning it into a therapy session. I love you dear self, I really hope you are living a better life than the one you are living you deserve a little happiness. You deserve financial freedom, you deserve to be happy more than anything... I hope you have a fresh start somewhere else and just conquer through life, I'm hoping that everything is just better. Heavenly Father Almighty God, my one true love, my provider and my savior You are a God of love, you are a God of his word, suffering isn't what you planned for us Help us realize your faithfulness in you Lord, Help not to lose our way, help us believe and stay faithful in you Lord, we are only mere humans we don't deserve the love you shower us with we don't deserve your forgiveness but lord you said in happiness and in sadness we must not forsake you, we shall praise your mighty name, we shall worship you Lord I don't ask for much but I do ask that you not forsake me, heavenly father stand by me, bukisa ngami baba ubabonise ukuthi ungubani, okungenzwanga nguwe akusoze kwaphumelela Heavenly Father, I say all this in the name and savior Jesus Christ Amen... I want you to read this prayer and remember that all you have, you asked for... Don't take it for granted, you have suffered to be where you are, you have went through challenges and almost losing hope... Make me proud, I want you to look back and scream of joy, be grateful that you in part of the prayer you asked for... I love you future me, make me proud ♥️🥹🫶🏿🎈🍰 Happy birthday love🥹 Treat yourself, you owe yourself a good and soft life♥️♥️♥️😘