A letter from May 23, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I wonder how things are right now. The school year is almost over. Its 2023 btw and I’m sitting in English class waiting for it to start. Our English teacher is tired of this specific period of kids- poor teacher.. Well now we’re working on these bloom balls Now we’re hanging them Anywayz things are kinda boring- and I’m not as stressed I was in 6th grade I was so depressed I couldn’t do the basic human things. For some ******* reason I couldn’t brush my teeth!? I barley showered which is so embarrassing to say but atleast I don’t do that anymore and now I’ve forced a habit of doing it everyday. Not just the bad habits but I cried often. Like an average about 2 times a week and now it’s 2 times a month (sometimes more but I improved) My sleep schedule was messed up too Like my mind was scattered. I didn’t know what to think of anyone. I felt alone. I felt ugly. I felt lost and confused. Confused as in : “what’s the point?” “Why?” So much homework I was lost in. So much family drama. So many insecurities I couldn’t get over. Always asking myself “am I a bad person?” “Am I an ignorant friend?” “Am I a lazy daughter?” “Am I careless?” Well that’s what my parents thought, but I care the most. I didn’t know who I was anymore and honestly I still don’t know. Who am I? What am I? And tbh I feel like I’m more insecure than I was. 6th grade just drained me the tf out and I’m not as burnt out but instead I’m more insecure instead. And I didn’t. I know it probably was a bad idea to vent to my future self. But I’m just reminding you that some things won’t last forever. No matter how hard things may be they soon will resolve just make sure you work on yourself. Do things that make you happy. Go out make friends and have the craziest weekends ever! And I mean it. Go crazy You’re 16 now yo should have a drivers license by now. Right? If you don’t then hurry and get it gurli- there are so many things you could’ve done by now but you probably didn’t and YEA I’m doubting you Point is- the best distraction is joy Get therapy if you haven’t already. Bye bessi -2023 13 yo Ava