A letter from May 14, 2023

Dear Future me, You probably won’t remember the exact date you wrote this, but its mothers day of 2023 at 12:23 in the morning. Honestly i think today marks the day your were no longer a child, dark i know. Today you messaged cara and said your worried for sierra, thank ******* Jesus she was awake so we could make plans to try and figure out how to help her. First off, Sierras not doing good, and i am really scared. I am scared she won’t live to she our high-school graduation, or to see our 18th birthday, or meet someone who will love her, i am scared she won’t live. I am so scared. I love her, she my best friend, and I don’t think i can live without her. This is gonna break me. You know your not kid anymore when you start worrying about whether your best friend will still be alive in the next 3 years. I don’t she will be, and i hate my self for that. She doesn’t care about life anymore, she said she felt numb. She is cutting again. I saw her arms and I don’t know what to do or say or how to help. I am so sacred that I won’t have the most important person with me for the rest of my life. I AM SCARED I really hope that when you get this she better and you can read this with and realize how far she has come in her recovery journey. I really hope you reading this to her on her birthday, because thats when I chose to send this, and we are crying together because she made it. **** you Buckett, **** you sierras parents, **** you Analese and Sam, **** you everyone who make her life hard, **** you all the kids who bullied her because she wasn’t who you wanted her to be, **** you society…did this to her. You did this to us. SHE IS TOO YOUNG TO FEEL LIKE THIS. I AM TOO YOUNG TO FEEL LIKE THIS. WE ARE TOO YOUNG. My health teacher said the other day not everyone in our graduating class will make it through high school, and i think she is gonna be the one who wont make it. From you in the past who 15 and no longer a child.