A letter from May 12, 2023

Dear FutureMe, By now you should've graduated college (if you didn't fail a year) so.. how was it? And how did it go? I'm near the end of my first year currently, studying Social Works, it went.. quite well? Like in terms of grade, everythings PERFECT. My grades have never been this perfect before EVER, it's insane, i'm genuinely proud of myself. But knowing our terrible mental health, I feel like I will face even more hardships the next 2 years, but I'm sure we can survive it. Studying Social Works really changed me as a person. First of all- I'm not social. at. all. I'm an introverted shy girl with social anxiety. Who would've thought i'd study SOCIAL works??? Though standing in front of a class and stuff still scares me and gives me panic, I definitely wouldn't have done this back in high school, so it's a huge step I took and I'M SO PROUD OF IT!! Our teacher complimented us a lot about how well we do at our internship, about how professional we are and the good relationship we have with the kids and I was so happy to get praised like that.. I'm glad that someone sees the effort I put into my "job" ANYWAYS have you made up your mind already? Are we going to study more or find a job? Yk, by the time you get this letter you'll be 18. The only experience you have is the internships (i'm assuming) so idk where a freshly-graduated-18-year-old-college-student will find a job related to Social Works but UGHH i'm so not looking forward to studying more. Actually, i'm not even looking forward to working. I don't have the desire to work nor do I have a dream job, I only chose Social Works bc it seems the most toleratable... is that even a word? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. But I hope by then you like the job more bc.. well.. i know we both dont want to start another study. this letter is mainly about college but I also wonder how it's going with mental health. We've gotten help since 2018.. So that'll be 7 years by then? You're gonna be 18 and will have to pay for it yourself,, yikessss!! Might aswell pretend you got better so you don't have to go to therapy anymore = saving yourself some money. BUT BUT BUT i'm expecting you to be able to cope better with your trauma!! Atleast I hope. I wish. YOU BETTER. I hope we're still alive by then actually. Anyways tell me all about it. Also, i'm currently writing this letter while listening to Idol by Yoasobi, god the song is SO GOOD!! What's ur fav song by then? Enough talking, we'll see. Byeeee - 16 year old you