A letter from Apr 27, 2023

dear future me, I really hope your still alive, i hope every single one of our loved ones are still here too. we are currently in 8th grade, we got about 4 weeks until school is over and then I’ll be in high school. we’ve been clean for over 3-4 months please keep it that way. I’m doing so well right now I’m happy and am starting to get closer to our religion. I’m sending this letter to you on your 18th birthday because I want to see if anything’s changed. Ur almost done with school i wonder what job we’re gonna work as I have no idea what I wanna be when I grow up I always say doctor or teacher but that’s a lie lol I don’t wanna stress myself out too much that’s stuff my future self has to worry about. I don’t know what to say in this letter but I do seriously hope we’re alive it’ll be kind of awkward if u received this letter dead but then again I do hope we aren’t alive I wanna go to heaven even though the thought of ***** scares me, I’m constantly thinking about what will happen after I die I’m constantly debating whether we go to heaven or hell or not idk why the thought is scary but it is. I got us through some struggles and phases really hope ur proud of me pls don’t be cringed out when u read this letter though bc I really don’t wanna be here right now ur lucky u got through these four years it’s currently April 27,2023. how are mom and dad? And how is grandpa? I doubt he’s gonna be alive by 2026 but I really hope he is because he’s the only one in our family im familiar with other than grandma but she’s gone. Grandmas been gone for three years I still haven’t gotten over her *****, by the time u receive this letter she would have been gone for 6 whole years ***** scary. never stop missing grandma please don’t forget her she meant a lot to me I swear. How is zina? Is she getting old? I’ve been trying to not take things for granted. It’s scary thinking about whether some of these people will be alive three years from now. Oh u got a year left of school u can do it I hope we can drive by this time. I don’t wanna be 18 years old taking the school bus. if ur reading this please go pray don’t miss out on your prayers I’ve been trying to not quit it I really don’t want anything bad to happen. I’m debating whether I should send this letter in 2026 or 2027 (the year we actually graduate). Schools really hard it’s difficult for me to find friends or get along with people I often think everyone’s talking about me. We currently hate our scars and is afraid we will never be able to get married because of them. I really hope ur better than me right now. Don’t fall into old habits u know what I mean by that. and try to forgive maryam I’m trying to forgive people more often I don’t wanna die with lots of hate in me. im currently watching full house (not rn but like that’s the show i watch) my favorite show though is 13 reasons why. I often think people are cringey lmaooo. summers almost here so yay and things are gettin better. have we lost weight? Wallah I’ll be disappointed if we are 18 and fat. im putting so much pressure on u my bad but lose weight if ur fat. omg imagine if I sent this letter 10 years from now. We would probably be married and have kids😢 I’ll maybe write one for me 10 years from now. Anyways take care of urself byeeee. Wait I just thought of something. Right now I’m currently writing this on a purple iPhone 12 your probably reading this on a iPhone 17 or 18 lolllll