A letter from Apr 23, 2023

Hi this is u from 23/04/23. I don’t know if u will remember writing this n I’m just picking a random date so I don’t even know when u r gonna get this. And we also might change emails so u might never get it. First of all just wanna say sorry for probably ******* ur life up with how I’ve been doing in school n stuff. I don’t know if ur gonna be an adult when u get this but if u are ur prob broke asf rn. Ye sorry. R we still friends with Cara Hannah n Jessika. Idk if we will be. I don’t really like them to be honest. I know that basically makes me a fake friend but I don’t want to be alone again. It’s not even like I don’t like them for no reason, they just constantly make fun of me for nothing. Like ye friends make fun of u for a joke n **** but it’s genuinely starting to annoy me. They only do it to me, they will do it to eachother sometimes but it’s usually me that the jokes about. I feel like they don’t really take anything I say seriously. I know ur probably reading this thinking I’m a wee moany ***** lol but I just wanna tell u where I’m at rn so that u can compare it with what ur doing right now and ur friends n stuff. I wish I could ask u about what ur doing right now but obviously can’t. I know I already said this but I really feel like I’m ******* things up for u, like it’s both our fault but it’s more on me because I’m the one choosing to be like this right now. I just don’t really care anymore about what happens to me, I’ve felt like this for a long time now. This is gonna sound so bratty but I feel like whenever I do something bad I never have consequences, it always works out for me somehow, but even if it didn’t I still probably wouldn’t care. I think there is something wrong with me. Don’t care about anything anyone myself. I don’t actually even like anyone. Maybe Cara a bit but apart from that no. I still have no idea what I want to do about anything. Like for a job and stuff. I honestly can’t be arsed getting a job but I want more money. Do we still have that delusion about SK’s ghosts? I know it’s not real but it just won’t stop. I don’t wanna tell anyone cause they will think there’s something wrong with me, and it’s also just embarrassing. And I also don’t really want it to stop. Never admitted that to myself before lol but I feel like it’s the only thing keeping me going rn. Neil’s also a ****. He genuinely thinks he’s a ******* womaniser or something he’s so bigheaded I ******* hate him. U still friends with him? Hope not. I got in a fight w mum 2 days ago. Like an actual physical fight. I think I won only thing is though she wouldn’t stop pulling my ******* hair she’s so annoying. All this talk about how she was a street fighter. ******* street fighter yeah🤣🤣🤣 Fist Fighter Fowler🤣 who does she think she is man she’s feeble as ****. I gen flung her about the living room🤣🤣 U still talk to mum and dad? ( if ur an adult). I honestly hate them both so much. When I can I hope to move out and never speak to either of them again. But I think I will need help with a lot of stuff, so I just hope I will have others that can help me with things so I won’t have to keep in contact with them. To be honest I’m just sick of everything. It feels like a ******* loop or something. Same **** everyday. I’m just so bored with everything and so tired. Hope things r better for u