A letter from Apr 18, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I'm 24 years old and trying to know who I am. I'm trying to love myself step by step. I didn't like my wardrobe so I bought my new clothes at DD's Discounts. Then I bought new products for my skin, like a body scrub, body wash, and lotions. I'm trying to find what is my signature perfume. The scents I'm considering are dark cherry, pomegranate, white fig, orchid, pear, apple, or sweeter aromas. I need to know what is my favorite color. I keep changing colors every 2 years I guess. When I was young my favorite color was purple, but now it's between red and green. For now, my favorite color is gray. I'm confused about my emotions and mind. I got out of a toxic job that was physically, mentally, and emotionally draining me. The year 2022 was when I learned that the new friend I made had jealousy of me. The same year I lost my partner because he ghosted me a week before my birthday. In the same year, 2 universities scammed me in terms of money. Some of my coworkers bullied me every day. Today in 2023 I'm focusing on my inner peace. That's the only wish I have right now is to have inner peace to move on with my life. Sometimes my subconscious goes back in time to 2022 as if I wanted to change something different. I wouldn't say I suffered but it was a lesson that would scar me in learning that lesson in life. It's been 4 months since I got out of the job and I no longer have the resentment or anger that I used to have. I just feel defeated overall. I'm trying to focus on passing the exam to go into the medical field. It's just hard to focus because every time I'm in my thoughts I lose focus and go into the terrible memories of 2022. I guess you could say I overthink. I don't smile like I used to. I don't talk anymore like I used to. I isolated myself from everyone. Maybe in the future, I will smile, I will have inner peace, my emotions and mentality will be stable, and I will have the indicated partner by my side. Hopefully, this year 2023 to focus and find that inner peace that I'm chasing. And if the person who is reading this in 2026, I want to tell you that hopefully, you will have found that inner peace you have been wishing for. If you found that inner peace then I'm proud of you. If you haven't then keep searching for it even if it takes you a lot of years. I know in my 1% of faith I have that you will find inner peace, your indicated partner who will support and love you for eternity, and you will be successful in your career and business. Now I'm saying goodbye and going back to close my eyes and focus on recovering and reconnecting with myself.