A letter from Apr 05, 2023

Dear FutureMe, Its 15 year old Katie things rn r going they aren't bad but they could be better if I would get it together. Yah Im in what feels like dire need of change like it feels like every day I inch closer to either loosing my mind or packing up and running away. I don't like that I feel this way because I don't think I have a reason to feel this way. Things with our parents r going fine for the most part. I want to join the military active duty🪖 but I think the only reason I want to join is bc what I got going on my life rn is not fun and I would like to change that (I'm not saying it's going to be fun risking my life every day but yk it is what it is). Umm rn I'm tired of living with our parents but I think the only reason I'm tired of living with them is bc in 2020-2021 I had to spend every waking moment with them. That being said I still love them and all but it's just challenging to spend that much time with someone that isn't a lover. My hope is by the time u see this u will be living somewhere that isn't our parents house I hope u will have a therapist bc the way things r looking rn I need one now but I will never ask our parents bc that's to confrontational for me but hopefully u will have one. I hope our social skills improve bc not being able to make eye contact is not it rn. If by the time u see this u r not working out and or healthy consider this a wake up call remember how I felt all those days u wanted to go out but ur parents where to tired and then remember u don't want to be like that. I hope ur still a hopeless romantic and I hope u have found someone that makes u happy. In the unlikely event that u r with someone that is not treating u right this is ur excuse to leave him rn bc u know that u deserve better and if u don't believe that then do it for me bc this is not what I want for u. Rn I have 5 friends they r Judi, Abril, keilani, Jaedyn, and Green. Jae and Green r my best friends. I don't think this will last and that's ok I'm a little sad but ik when we leave high school this will probably end but I'll try to keep it going as long as I can. I don't currently want to go to college but ik I'm eventually going to need a degree so in the event that I do go to college I want to study psychology, architecture, construction,or engineering. I want to be a teacher. But I don't want kids rn I can't imagine carrying a fetus for 9 months then pushing it out and then raising it for 18-21 years like absolutely not. That being said I'm not against fostering some kids I really like kids I just don't want any that I share blood with bc I feel like they would be to much like me . I also don't want kids of my own bc of the relationship I had with my parents I remember how bad it got between me and my father and then what if I turn out like my mother like I don't want my kid to have the same experience I did. I didn't have it bad but things where not always like they r now. I want to be the cool aunt but my sister doesn't want kids either so I hope someone in the same age range as me wants kids so I can spoil them. I hope u have gotten closer to God and I hope u remember that no matter what happens in your life u can't stray from God. Tell ur sister u love her and check up on her and don't let things between u two get bad always have a good relationship with her. Well that's the end I love u and if by this point u haven't let go of the anger from the past now is a good time to start. Ps. If u don't remember some of the text slang here u go. Rn- right now Bc- because Ur- your or you're U-you R- are