A letter from Apr 05, 2023

Dear Futureme, This letter is for my ex best friend Emily. There is so many things that i wish i could tell her before we stopped being friends. I will never understand why you stopped being friends with me Emily, but i hope your in a better place now. number 1 emily, i hope you got over your depression. depression was one of the worst things for you and everyday i could see through your lies about you being "okay". I hope you have someone else to talk to about your problems and i hope they give you everything you deserve. everytime you messaged me about your depression i wanted to take all your pain and swallow it deep inside of me. everytime you were upset it hurt me too. i love that you told me about your depression and i love that i was a person you could trust. i love you emily please never forget that. number 2 the memories we made over the 6 years were my favourite. none of my other friendships were as entertaining, exciting and happy as mine and yours. i love when we ran away from our other friends to have time alone. i love when we would sit and talk about anything. i love that your birthday is on valentines day. i love when we would talk about my endless crushes and how you were never going to get married and only get married to food. i love how we got malatang together on your birthday. i love when we would write pages of notes together in class. emily our friendship made me feel i was on a roller coaster. a roller coaster that got past the scary part of going up and is now having so much fun going around all the loops. our online school memories were the ones that we can have forever. all of our videos, pictures and discord messages. number 3 angel. angel was one of the people that tore me up and stitched me back together all at the same time. but she loved you so as long as you were happy then my pain was not important. metting angel on that day in online school zoom was a special moment. then a month later me and angel finally met in school. i gave her a reputation. made friends for her. stuck by her side. for so long. then, i introduced angel to you. she liked you better. emily, the pain i felt that day was more than anything i had ever felt in my whole 12 years of living. but you were happy so it was fine. angel was someone i loved so much and it hurt to see her give all her love for me to you so quickly. as the days went on, you and angel became closer. but you never left my side. angel obviously preferred you instead of me but it was fine. because you stayed with me. you were my medicine emily. you kept me going all those years. now angel hates me but you and angel are friends so its fine. number 4 disha. i dont really know why i included disha in this letter. you know the saying "there is always a duo in a trio"? we were the duo emily. and disha was the girl left all alone by herself. she pretended that she had others around her but no one understood her like us emily. we were so cruel emily. we knew it but we never stopped it. why emily. why were we so mean. i wish i coul gop back in time and fix it emily. now disha is a distant memory in the past too. she doesnt talk to any of us anymore. such a sweet girl who we ruined. emily im so upset. disha was one of my favourite people. and now i have lost both of you. i fi had any one wish in the world it would be to be best friends with you and disha again. number 5 minecraft. emily our phase of Minecraft might be horrible to thing about now but it brought us so close together. playing minecraft, calling, singing songs of the dream smp and watching videos was so much fun. my crush on georgenotfound was so funny. you always making fun of me might have annoyed me back then but i really wish you were laughing at me again right now. number 6 highschool. that day when you told me we were going to the same highschool was one of my favourite days. we laughed, sang, danced and we so happy. then, the day you got a letter saying you were changting highschools was horrible. we sat in silence with m having no clue what was happening but watching the fear in your eyes as you read that letter. emily i would have burned that letter for causing you pain. as the tears started to flow down your cheeks i realised somethin was terribly terribly wrong. and emily when you muttered "im not going to (name of highschool)" my heart stopped. we cried for so long emily. i cried on call. i cried when we ended the call to eat lunch. i cried when i ate lunch. i cried when we called again. i cried at night. but i cried the most and loudest when you were crying emily. guess what emily. i hate you for leaving me. i hate you for still being friends with angel. i hate you for making me miss you so much. but i dont hate you. i cant hate you. it hurts so bad emily. now we havent spoken in about 2 years. i think about you all of the time. im never forgettting you. i dont think its possible. your engraved into my heart and it bleeds and burns everytime i think of you. im crying emily. and i dont have you for support. i miss you so much emily. please never forget me. our friendship started in year 1 and ended at the end of year 6. now we are in year 8. emily it hurts so bad. i really want our friendship back. i love you so bad emily. writing this letter was supposed to give me some comfort but its tearing me apart. i love you emily. - your ex best friend